I originally had the original text here for ease of comparison but the result was too long. One of the problems with long notebook entries.

Corrections

Tastes

Sugar Cakes, one of the well-known snacks in Hangchow, but also referred to as Powdered Sugar Cakes by the locals, is my favorite snack  since I was  a kid. It is made of glutinous rice flour mixed with water and kneaded into dough, sliced into flat strips and deeply fried in the boiling oil till it turns yellow brown; one can enjoy its flavor after it is fully coated with sweet powdered sugar. When it is done, it tastes so good, crisp on the outside and tender on the inside, which is somewhat similar to the Round-shaped Rice Cake in Szechwan and Hupei Province. However, It’s crust, with powdered sugar, melts away at once in my mouth and teases all my taste buds with it’s sweetness, that is what the only difference. is.

I sojourn in Maojiapu in Hangchow this time, and I take the bus to Hsiaozhe Bridge so often after my breakfast. Nearby the Ch’ingch’un Road and Yenan Road, there stands a well-known Hsinfeng Snack Bar that serves Powdered Sugar Cake. Every time I come go there, I can really“relish” my heart’s desire and enjoy a bite of life inadvertently as well.

I was born in Hangchow and lived there for eight years of living full time there. My bygone days of my childhood in Hangchow, in short, no more than lake excursions, climbing hills and enjoying Powdered Sugar Cakes ( as well as Cat Ear Noodles). What I remembered so well were Yenan Road and Kenshan Gate, two places in Hangchow, that’s because it was where I usually passed by whenever I had an outing. In Hangchow there were some places I had lived like Yenan New Village, Hsüehshi Road, Shent’angch’iao and Panshan. The further back that I remenber, the more vivid memories I recollect. I was always dropped off and changed to bus in Kenshan Gate whenever I went to Lakeside from Shent’angch’iao and Panshan with my father.

Right now I am light-heartedly eating Sugar Cakes at Hsinfeng Snack Bar. It feels somewhat familiar but I am  uncertain if it is the place where I was dropped off on my journey to Lakeside with my father from Kenshan Gate. Whenever I rove my eyes rove across the pedestrian overpass nearby under which Ch’ingch’un Road and Yenan Road crosses, I wonder not sure how many times would ever have it has been rebuilt, . In my recollection, not far from the place where my father and I were dropped off, I could see the Lakeside, and the crossing was so wide. My father held my little hands and never came across the road till the vehicles drove far into distance. It is a quite long walk from hence to yonder curbstone. Thus, current crossings of Yenan Road can not rival with the one I bear in my mind.

Notes

flavor is the American spelling. A UK person would spell the word flavour.

month instead of mouth, is the sort of typo (typographical error) that I make all the time. I think the keys move on my keyboard just to taunt me. You have the same problem :-).

if Hsinfeng Snack Bar is the actual name of a particular snack bar - you would write          the Hsinfeng Snack Bar

This sounds unclear  "The less clock hands". This would indicate a time that just passed, but you talk about your father so I think that you are talking about a time long ago. Hence my correction.

changed to bus - this sounds like you might have been travelling by train and then changed to a bus. If you were travelling by bus both times, you would change "changed buses"

This sentence is far too long in the original and contains a number of ideas which indicate that it should be split up into separate sentences.

Right now I am light-heartedly eating Sugar Cakes at Hsinfeng Snack Bar, However, I feel somewhat familiar but uncertain if it is the place where I ever dropped off and thence to Lakeside with my father from Kenshan Gate whenever I rove my eyes across the pedestrian overpass nearby, not sure how many times would ever have been rebuilt, under which Ch’ingch’un Road and Yenan Road crosses

bore in my head - indicates a forgotten memory. You can still remember so you bear it in your head.

You have attempted a quite complex and vivid story about your childhood memories. It's a bit long for a notebook entry here but I felt that it was worthy of attention and comment.

Strangely enough, I have been contemplating making glutinous rice cakes in recent days so your notes had a certain appeal to me.