Finding Myself

I moved to Italy when I was just 6 six years old. I learned about all of the the historical and cultural aspects of the country it, but sometimes I still think I'm not an Italian at all. I know there are large Chinese communities in Italy, but unfortunately I grew up in a small town with no Chinese other than but me and my family and me. so Therefore, I lost practically all its of my culture and also the I was unable to learn the language (I speak a Chinese dialect fluently a Chinese dialect, which is pretty different from Mandarin). Recently I started to go dig deep to find learn about my origins roots by learning Mandarin and trying to chat talk with my homeland people people from my native land. Basically, I am like a Chinese guy with an Italian education and Italian values who is very nostalgic about Chinese culture but also nostalgic for all related on the chinese culture. This feeling makes me doubt about who I am. Am I a Chinese or an Italian, or just both?

 

Finding Myself

I moved to Italy when I was just six 6. I learned all grew up in Italian culture and its the history and cultural aspect of it, but sometimes I still think I'm not don't consider myself an Italian at all. I know there are large Chinese communities in Italy but unfortunately I grew up in a small town with no other Chinese but me and except my family. Hence , so I lost practically all the  its culture and also of my ancestors and nary a word of Mandarin. the language ( I speak fluently a Chinese dialect, which is pretty different distinctive from Mandarin[Without the capital, it is a kind of orange!]). Recently, I started to go deeply to find dig into my origins and began to learning Mandarin. [knowing Mandarin in itself does not mean you are Chinese culture literate.  It's just another dialect of the Chinese Language albeit the common denominator for oral communication]. Basically, I wanted  and trying to chat with my homeland people from my ancestral land. Basically I am like just a Chinese guy who grew up with an Italian education and values. At the same time, but also nostalgic for all related on the Things Chinese culture. This makes me doubt wonder about who I am? am I a Chinese or an Italian; or perhaps just a little of both?

Your essay struck a very chord within me.  You and I are very in a very similar boat.  Mine was a British education.  However, I self-taught myself Chinese, more importantly in the cultural aspects first before the language. Now I am delving into the language itself.  For me, it is easier this way.

In many cases, I am neither here nor there.  My kind, of the same skin color views me as one of them until I opened my mouth.  Then I'm just a banana (yellow outside, white inside) to them. The majority over here viewed me as one of those inscrutable oriental.  How you deal with yourself is to see what advantages to garner from this situation.  So I have to master both sides eloquently to carve out a niche for myself.  You will do great if you can make peace with yourself first.

For those who are following me, now you know one of the reasons that I need to be bilingual...