Please help me with my homework

Freedom is the state of being allowed to do what we want to do. It became one of the most important continents concepts in (1) our society.

President Franklin D. Roosevelt told spoke of four essential freedoms, which are freedom of speech and expression (2), freedom of every person for everyone to worship God in their own way (3), freedom from want and freedom from fear. If I were to add three opinions in to one of Roosevelt's freedoms, I'd I would (4) like to choose the second freedom, freedom of religion. 

First, a person doesn't have any qualifications rights to emphasize force their religion / beliefs to on others.

These days Nowadays, there are such many people who overemphasize their own religions.

For an example, when I was young, one of my friends advertised her religion to my classmates and even belittled my family's religion. I felt very upset and embarrassed. In addition, I can see such many people on the street, promoting their religions. I'm open-minded to all the religions, but I hope wish they would respect the religions of others.

Next, Religionless people agnostics / atheists (5) also have index of life (6), not only people who have their religions. Many people say, the purposes of having own religion is to make indexes of life (6). Having no religion, some people in Korea ignore those who do not have any religion (7). However, ...(not done)

Lastly, a person can change their religion. In their lifetime, a person's difficulties or ways to live his life can be changed. Radically (8), the purpose of having a religion to most people is to rely on them and be comfortable by worshipping their god in their own way. There are many chances to change the religion, and I don't think it is such a disgraceful thing. ..(not done)

Being free from religions and being able to worship god in our own way (9), we could live our lives more comfortably and express our opinions freely from the other people. Still, there are such many people who ignore others and be stereotype to hostile towards (10) other religions / beliefs. Our society would change for the better if people are open-minded to all religions.

NOTE:  Edits in GREY are general corrections, edits in REDare where you have an odd choice of words, and edits that are RED without strikethrough are where I’m not sure what you are trying to say, so I don’t have a correction for you.

(1)    I’m guessing this is what you want to say here

(2)    Freedom of speech and expression is essentially the same thing, so only one is necessary.  If you mention both it looks like you are listing 5 freedoms instead of 4

(3)    I’m leaving this with a minor correction, but it would be better if you simply said “freedom of religion”, as you are giving the other 3 freedoms in their original names

(4)    Don’t use apostrophes to contract words in essays and homework in general

(5)    I don’t think this word means what you want it to mean in this case

(6)    I’m not really sure what you’re trying to say here.  I’ve never used / heard of an ‘index of life’.  Do you happen to mean good standards of living / quality of life? 

(7)    You are repeating ‘having a religion’ in the same sentence here

(8)    Again, I’m not sure what you’re trying to say here

(9)    This sounds contradictory to me… I don’t think you can be ‘free from religion’ and also ‘worship god’ at the same time, as you are part of a religion if you worship a god, no?

(10)I’m guessing this is what you want to say here

Lastly, you have a habit of placing ‘such’ in front of ‘many people’, which is entirely unnecessary.  If you want to put a word there, I would put 'so' in front of 'many people' instead.