Written day 01 (Practice for my English midterm)

My summer vacation 

On my vacation I went to Valparaiso, specifically to a beach in Cartagena with my family, I remember that we went first to a place where they sold souvernirs and I bought a cap, the cap's color was black, but actually is gray. It's was cold, there were many clouds in the sky, however the landscape was beautiful. Then we went to a restaurant because we were very hungry, I had soup with fish, that was delicious but my mother had bad luck in that her dish had a rock in it, was a big rock and that was very strange and funny, my mother was very angry and we called the waiter to help us, we left that place inmediately. Later in the day we hit the beach, the sunset was beautiful. Then we returned to our car and went home.
It was a good vacation day.

Question:
Where did we go on our vacation?
answer: We went to a beach in Cartagena.

What happened when we went to a restauran?
answer: Gonzalo ate soup with fish and his mother had a rock in her soup.

Hola Gonzalo,  espero que estas correcciones te ayuden

Written the day 01 (Practice for my midterm of english)

My vacation in the summer

On my vacation I went to Valparaiso, especifically (SPECIFICALLY) to THE beach of Cartagena with my family, FSNS (I remember that) we went first to A place where they sold souvernir and I bouthg/BOUGHT a BLACK cap, the cap's color was black, actually is gray. It's was cold, there WERE are many clouds in the sky, however the landscape was beautiful. Then we went to A restaurant because WE WERE VERY had much hungry AND I to ate a FISH SOUPsoup with fish, this was delicious but my mother had a bad luck IN that in your HER dish had a rock, FSNS IT was a big rock and that was very strange and funny, FSNS my mother was very angry and we called to workes/WORKERS for TO give us a solution, FSNS we leaving LEFT that place inmediately AFTERWARDS. AT The end of the day we hit the beache/BEACH, FSNS the sunset was beautiful. Then we went to our car for we from home.
IT Was a good day of my vacation.

Question:
Where did we go in your vacation?
answer: They went to beath of Cartagena.

What happened when they arrived to restauran?
answer: Gonzalo to ate a soup with fish and her mother left a rock in her soup.

FSNS = full stop new sentence

(words) = words that are not necessary but you may want

word = incorrect words

WORD = correction

wrod/WORD = spelling mistake

Your doing well, if I could give you advice, I would say to use smaller sentences, rather than lots of commas. Also "AT The end of the day we hit the beache/BEACH, FSNS the sunset was beautiful." would read more pleasantly as "At the end of the day we hit the beach and then watched a beautiful sunset"