I like going cycling to whittle away my free time, enjoying the mild wind and the beauty of nature while cycling. I founded (*be careful to distinguish between find/found and found/founded. My English-speaking friends sometimes make this mistake!) a cycling club in my school when I was in seventh grade. Our club have got some financial aids from some local shops, though the money is limited. Many of my classmates joined the club, and we often organize cycling activities. (*This is a comma splice) We have our own flag. Our cycling club is famous in my community and some of the activities have been reported in the local newspaper.
It was a sunny day on May 1st this year. So we decided to cycle have a cycling activity to a nearby town and watch a China Rose exhibition there. It is about 39 miles away. We planed to reach there at noon and come back home in the afternoon. It was pretty pleasant and we chatted happily to each other on our way to the exhibition. We arrived at 11 o’clock and watched many pretty flowers there. However, one of my friends got a cramp in his leg while we were cycling back. So I decided to stop and have a rest. I massaged that boy’s leg and gave him enough time for recovering to recover. It really took us a very long time. Worse still, the sky got darker faster than we expected, but all things can the only thing that could be used to light the road by us was merely a weak flashlight that emitted weak light. For the sake of safety, we choose a relative flat road with fewer cars driving on it. We began to feel nervous and overwhelmed as it was utterly dark all around. However, we continued going for that we knew it would be too dangerous for us to stay in darkness. Hence, I lead the whole team to progress at the forefront and could only see a small area of road that lit by the flashlight; the overall scene was completely shrouded in darkness. (*Another comma splice) I really feel like I was riding on the edge of an abyss at that time, would be falling down right into the abyss at any time. Home is was so far away that we did not know when we would arrive. (Be careful about tenses! You temporarily switch to present tense here with "is" when the rest of your story is in past tense.) But I told myself that I must overcome the fear so that we can arrive safely. Then I started to tell my friends some interesting jokes to make them easy put them at ease, and warned them to be careful of small rocks on the road from time to time. In order to care for a girl, we arranged for her to ride in the middle of the team. All of us felt relaxed gradually, and did not fear but deemed this cycling as something pretty cool and exciting! Then we heard some frogs croaking on one side of the road and saw a very beautiful view of the dark sky entirely packed with bright stars when we raised our heads. We just did not know how far we had ridden and when we would arrive at our homes. However, I believed that we will definitely get home at last if we were on the right way. All of my friends uttered screams of approval when I told them about my thoughts.
We finally got to our snug homes at the midnight. All of us shrieked in great happiness when we saw the familiar light of home!
Though it is already a few months later when I write down this experience, I am still feeling inspired now! When we have to face difficulties and challenges, we have no choice except for being brave.

//Again, very impressive! Good job. Your biggest errors tend to be comma splices: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comma_splice

I would also recommend being careful not to switch tenses in the middle of a story. A story told in the past should stay in the past. Also, it would be a good idea to review the usage of will and can vs. would and could.

I like going cycling to whittle my free time, enjoying the mild wind and the beauty of nature while cycling. I found a cycling club in my school when I was in Grade Seven. Our club have got some financial aids from some local shops, though the money is limited. Many of my classmates joined the club, we often organize cycling activities. We have our own flag. Our cycling club is famous in my community and some of the activities have been reported on the local newspaper.

It was a sunny day on 1st, May this year. So we decided to have a cycling activity to a nearby town and watch a China Rose exhibition there. It is about 39 miles away. We planed to reach there at noon and come back home in the afternoon. It was pretty pleasant and we chatted happily to each other on our way to the exhibition. We arrived at 11 o’clock and watched many pretty flowers there. However, one of my friends got a cramp on his leg while we went cycling back. So I decided to stop and have a rest. I massaged that boy’s leg and gave him enough time for recovering. It really took us a very long time. Worse still, the sky got darker faster than we expected, but all things can be used to light the road by us was merely a flashlight that emitted weak light. For the sake of safety, we choose a relative flat road with fewer cars driving on it. We began to feel nervous and overwhelmed as it was utterly dark all around. However, we continued going for that we knew it would be too dangerous for us to stay in darkness. Hence, I lead the whole team to progress at the forefront and could only see a small area of road that lit by the flashlight, the overall scene was completely shrouded in darkness. I really feel like I was riding on the edge of an abyss at that time, would be falling down right into the abyss at any time. Home is so far away that we did not know when we would arrive. But I told myself that I must overcome the fear so that we can arrive safely. Then I started to tell my friends some interesting jokes to make them easy, and noticed them to be careful of small rocks on the road from time to time. In order to care for a girl, we arranged for her to ride in the middle of the team. All of us felt relaxed gradually, and did not fear but deem this cycling as something pretty cool and exciting! Then we heard some frogs croaking on one side of the road and saw a very beautiful view of the dark sky entirely packed with bright stars when we raised our heads. We just did not know how far we had ridden and when we will arrive at our homes. However, I believed that we will definitely get home at last if we were on the right way. All of my friends uttered the scream of approval when I told them about my thoughts.

We finally got to our snug homes at the midnight. All of us shrieked in great happiness when we saw the familiar light of home!

Though it is already a few months later when I have written down this experience, I am still feeling inspired now! When we have to face difficulties and challenges, we have no choice except for being brave.