Practice

Corrently, job hunting in japan has been stated. This is strange that I have to find some job even though I still have 2years till graduate. Government say that this system help to decrease the unemployment rate for young people. However, if I couldn't find the job till I graduate, it would be very tough to find the job later. Since these reason, young people concentrate on job hunting rather than university work. How do you think about this fact ？

I really enjoyed reading your passage. You use a lot of good English and it was easy to understand what you meant if you made a mistake. In England most students start jobhunting in their final year at university. The work is quite hard but I don't think it is as hard as it is in Japan. My Japanese friends are so busy because of their jobhunting that I never get to talk to them!

I have made the following changes and given reasons. Below the notes I have typed out your passage again which has all of the corrections.

1) "Currently" refers strongly to the present day. Job hunting is happening at present, but it started in the past. "Recently" might be a better word to put here.

"Japan" Capital letters are used at the start of proper nouns.

3) "Has been stated" - In this case, we do not need to use "been". Using the present perfect tense and saying "...has started" works better here. "Stated" should also be written as "started". "Stated" is a verb in the same tense, but it has a completely different meaning. It is similar to "Said".

4) "This is strange" We use the word "it" in place of "this" in this sentence. For extra points, say "I think it is strange". Your thoughts and opinions will always be useful!

5) "till graduate" There are two things to change here. Firstly, use "until" instead of "till". "Until" is the longer form of "till" and it is much better to use it in writing.
Secondly, "graduate" does not work as a noun here. You can use it as a verb and say "until I graduate" or you can say "until graduation".

6) Say "The Government" as there is only one.

7) As there is only one system, "this system help" should be changed to "this system helps".

8) "couldn't" and "would be" in this sentence sound better if they are changed to "can't" and will be".

Words such as "could" and "would" are part of the conditional tenses. In your passage you sound very certain of what will happen, so it is best to make the sentence sound more certain as well.

9) "till I graduate" should be changed to "by the time I graduate". If you say that you want a job until you graduate, you are saying that you want a job at the same time that you are in university. In your passage you are talking about finding a job for when you have finished university. If you want to have plans before a certain time, but not be doing them before this, then use "by the time I..."

10) "Since these reason" There are two changes to make here. Firstly, use "Because of" instead of "Since". If we use "Since", we normally mention the reason again, for example: "Since job hunting is important, young people concentrate less on university work."

Secondly, say "this reason" instead of "these reason". I could only find one reason that you have talked about in your passage, so we use "this" as it refers to a single thing. If you want to talk about more reasons, use "these reasons".

11) As said above, say "What do you think about". If you want to use "how", say "How do you feel about".

"Some job" I have highlighted this twice. In both cases, say "a job". People might say "I am looking for some job" in speech, but with countable nouns it is quite informal and not very polite.

"Job hunting" This is not such an important change, but we sometimes just use this as one word and write "Jobhunting".

Here is an edited version of your passage.

Recently, job hunting in Japan has started. I think it is is strange that I have to a some job even though I still have 2years until I graduate. The government say that this system helps to decrease the unemployment rate for young people. However, if I can't find the job by the time I graduate, it will be very tough to find a job later. Because of this reason, young people concentrate more on job hunting rather than university work. What do you think about this fact ？

Keep up the good English work! All the best in finding a good job as well! :-)
If you would like to talk in English at any time then please contact me.

Practice

Corrently, my job hunting in japan has been started. This is strange that I have to find some job even though I still have 2years till graduation. The government says that this system helps to decrease the unemployment rate for young people. However, if I can't find the job till I graduate, it would be very tough to find the job later. For these reasons, young people concentrate on job hunting rather than university work. How do you think about this fact？

[Your English is good.  I think that when you are in the university, classwork should have complete priority.]

Currently, job hunting in Japan has begun (<=始まりましたってことですね). This is strange that I have to look for some jobs even though I still have 2 more years until graduation. Government say that this system will help to decrease the unemployment rate of young people. However, if I couldn't find a job before I graduate, it would be very tough to find the job later on. Because of these reasons, young people concentrate on job hunting rather than university work. What do you think about this fact ？

_______________

けいさんの英語はすごいですね。みんなの比べ、ちょっとだけを変わってあげたいと思って、ぼくは訂正を書きました。ぼくは、大学の学生として仕事を探すのはいいことだと思います。それでも、Frankさんの言う通りです、「classwork should have complete priority」。それでは、これからもがんばってくださいね、英語学ぶと仕事探す両方。（ぼくの日本語がおかしかったらごめんなさい。）

m(*^v^*)m

Hi. Well done on the entry, it works very well. I made 2 versions, you can take your pick which one is better.

Word changes:

Currently, job hunting in Japan has started. This is strange that I have to find a job even though I still have 2 years until I graduate. The Government says that this system helps to decrease the unemployment rate for young people. However, if I couldn't find the job until I graduate, it would be very tough to find the job later. Since this reason, young people concentrate on job hunting rather than their university work. How do you feel about this fact ?

Word and grammatical changes:

Currently, I have started job hunting in Japan. It is strange that I have to find a job even though I still have 2 years until graduation. The Government says that this system is to help decrease the unemployment rate for young people. However, if I couldn't find a job before graduation, it would be very tough to find a job later. Because of this reason, young people concentrate on job hunting rather than their university work. What do you think about this fact ?

Changes in order:
1 - Currently was spelt wrong.

2 - I believe that you are talking about your job hunting so it is important to state that.

3 - Japan is a noun and should have a capital letter

4 - Grammatical change

5 - 'the job' talks about a single job possibility, 'a job' refers to many job possibilities

6 - The word 'till' is acceptable in speech but is not good for text. The original word for 'till' is 'until'.

7 - 'graduation' is the name of the event. 'graduate' is the verb.

8 - Use 'The Government' as there is only one government you are referring to.

9 - 'says' or 'said' us the past tense of 'say'. The Government made the comment in the past, so use past tense.

10 - Grammatical change

11 - Read 5

12 - 'before' is a better term to use as you will be able to use the noun graduation making the text more fluent.

13 - Read 7

14 - Read 5

15 - The fact in this sentence[S] is dependent on the reason of the previous sentence[1]. 'this reason' refers to the fact[1], 'because of' says the following fact[3] is due to fact[1]

[1]Fact sentence[1]. [S]Because of this reason, [3]young people concentrate on job hunting rather than their university work[3][S].

16 - 'their' is a term used to show ownership. 'That is their hat.'

17 - 'What' is a better term to use for this question as it works with the verb 'think'.

I would say that 7/10 times, 'what' can be used with questions meaning it can be a useful default if you are unsure but sometimes it is good to try new question openings [How, Where, Why, Who,].

Sorry if some of this explanation is confusing. Feel free to message me if you want further explanation on any information.