CORRECT GRAMMAR IN THIS ESSAY PLZ~~~~~

Today’s over-emphasis on appearance in Korea can have negative effects on people’s emotional health. In Korea, TV shows that cover appearance gain great popularity such as ‘Get It Beauty’, which introduces make-up tips and recommends cosmetics and ‘Let Me In’, which helps people, who have been seriously discriminated because of their looks, by performing plastic surgery on them. Also, lots of information about improving one’s appearance can be found in many other kinds of medium. However, this excessive interest in appearance can bring about serious side effects. First, people come to judge a person only by his/her appearance. As people put more importance on appearance, appearance becomes the main factor in judging a person. As a result, it is common in Korea to find people who are underestimated by others because their appearance is not good. Second, people come to pay too much attention in taking care of their appearance. Because people focus on their looks too much, they neglect to build their character. For example, in Korea, there are some women who invest lots of money in improving their appearance by buying expensive cosmetics and having plastic surgery but they lack common sense or manners. These women are called ‘된장녀’.(Maybe include an English translation? something like, "or 'plastic surgery queens'.)