She is My grandmother...She was Born in 1943, during the time of the World War II. Her father was grocer/grocery keeper/ [No supermarkets at that time in China. It's an American concept developed in 1916 but the first true supermarket we know of today was in 1930. Only in 1951 did England started to one!]manager, and her mother was a housewife. She had an older sister, and an older brother. There is a Chinese word moon character (月) in her name. Grandpa [more endearing. Using "her father" sounds so cold and distant] gave her this name because he dreamt of the moon when his wife was pregnant. Many significant events happened in her life but here are some...

The first thing is [Nothing wrong but you are not writing a report but a story] Her first love. When she was twenty years old, she fell in love with a military officer. She describes him as a handsome guy [understood from the pronoun] with black hair, brown eyes, a beautiful nose and ruddy lips. At that time, the being a military officer was a very enviable position. So her father accepted him as a son-in-law. However, his superiors ordered him to another city before grandmama could be married him and so great grandpa changed his mind because her sister and brother had left home. Great grandparents didn’t want his their last child to leave them as well. They did not like to have a lonely nest as they get old.  As a result, she broke up with him. 

After few years later, she met a man who would to be my grandfather. This was her second significant event in her life because this man was destined to be her one and only. Grandmama became a pharmacist upon graduating from high school and grandpapa, a dermatologist. They worked in the same hospital. They saw each other every day, everyday and their mutual attraction for each other grew were attracted to each other. After a while period of time, they started dating. But It is serious business in China, people think a couple should come from similar status in society for coming from the families of equal status is very important; this ensures they believed the their marriage will be forever last. So her father At first grandmama's father didn’t accept was against this relationship because this man as he came from a poor family. , and yet her father held However, in the end, a grand wedding was thrown for his daughter and this dermatologist, because since his future son-in-law this man proved had proven himself to her father with his extraordinary medical skills. Finally, my mother was born when she was 26 years old.[What you wrote was that your mother was born when she was 26 years old!] Mama came into this world when grandmama was twenty-six.

Some corrections were not grammatically wrong but boring. Just showing you how to express better. You have other wonderful corrections to know the errors.

Good writing.

An Unusual Life

She is my grandmother. She was born in 1943, the time of the World War II. Her father was a supermarket manager, and her mother was a housewife. She had an older sister, and an older brother. There is a Chinese word “月” in her name. The meaning of this word is the moon. Her father gave her this name because he dreamt of the moon when his wife was pregnant. There were some other significant things in her life.

The first thing was her first love. When she was 20 years old, she fell in love with a military officer. She describes him as a handsome guy with black hair, brown eyes, a beautiful nose, and ruddy lips. At that time,  being military officer was a very popular job for people, so her father also accepted this man as a son-in-law. However, the commander asked this man to move to another city before my grandmother got married, so that her father changed his mind. Her father didn’t want her to leave the family because her sister and brother were already away from home. Her parents didn’t want their last child to leave them, because they would feel lonely, if they lived without any of their children when they were seniors. As a result, she broke up with this man.

After few years, she met a man who would be my grandfather. This would be the second significant thing in her life because this man would be her first and the last husband. My grandmother became a pharmacist after she graduated from high school, and my grandfather was a dermatologist. They both worked in the same hospital. They saw each other every day, and they were attracted to each other. After a period of time, they started dating. But in China, people think a couple coming from the families of equal status is very important; this ensures their marriage will be forever. So her father wouldn't accept this relationship because this man came from a poor family, and Yet, finally, her father held a grand wedding for his daughter and this dermatologist, because this man proved himself to her father with his extraordinary medical skills. Later, my mother was born when my grandmother was 26 years old.

An Unusual Life

She is my grandmother. She was born in 1943, during the time of the World War II. Her father was a supermarket manager, and her mother was a housewife. She has an older sister, and an older brother. There is a Chinese character word “月” in her name, The meaning of this word is which means the moon. Her father gave her this name because he dreamt about of the moon when his wife was pregnant. There are Some significant things happened in her life.

The first thing is was about her first love. When she was 20 years old, she fell in love with a military officer. She describes him as a handsome guy with black hair, brown eyes, a beautiful nose, and ruddy lips. At that time, the military officer was a very popular job for people, so her father also accepted this man to be as a son-in-law. However, the leader asked this man to move to another city before my grandmother got married so that her father changed his mind. Her father didn’t want her to leave home family because her sister and brother were already away from home. Her parents didn’t want his last only child staying to leave them; they would feel lonely, if they lived without any of their children when they were older seniors. As a result, she broke up with this man.

After a few years, she met the a man who would be my grandfather. This would be the second significant thing in her life because this man would be her first and the last husband. My grandmother became a pharmacist after she graduated from high school, and my grandfather was a dermatologist. They worked in the same hospital. They saw each other every day, and they were attracted to each other. After a period of time, they started dating. But in China, people think it is important that the families a couple coming from  are of equal social status is very important; this ensures their marriage will last be forever. So her father didn’t accept this relationship because this man came from a poor family, but and yet her father still held a grand wedding for his daughter and this dermatologist, because this man proved himself to her father with his extraordinary medical skills. Finally, when she was 26 years old, my mother was born.

写得很不错～ 希望对你有帮助～