Hi, Marie!  I'm going to post my corrections twice - once with comments in-line and once with them taken out.

Marie xxxxxx 

xxxxxxxxx
75013 PARIS
FRANCE
tel: +33 6 xxxxxxxxxxx
[email protected]  

September 30, 2013


Re: Application for the position of chemical engineer advertised in XXXXXX **make this specific to each place you are applying - e.g. Application for lab technician in the Dept. of Chemistry, XYZ University


Good afternoon,

**Not sure to where you are applying, but "Sir/Madam" is a bit old-fashioned and stiff.  If you can't find out the name of the hiring manager (which can often be got, with some research), stick to a To Whom It May Concern or a friendly Good morning or Good afternoon. 

Construction professionals are looking for materials with many properties, including those that are environmentally friendly and low-cost.  To remain competitive, it is necessary to develop innovative materials. **This is a GREAT opening, especially because it suggests that you are targeting your letter to a specific company or lab.  Can you back it up later in the letter?  Talk in the paragraphs below about how YOUR polymers contribute to environmental friendliness or low cost for the concrete you developed.  Talk about YOUR innovation.**   My knowledge **of chemical engineering for construction applications, gained through both study and professional experiences, leads me to offer my application. ***to where? for what position?**

During a 6-month internship in Lafarge **chemical? polymer?** research center **at what university? or is this a professional center?** I synthesized superplasticizing polymers for concrete, using conventional radical polymerization or RAFT, with methacrylic monomers. After synthesis, I **tested the purity? verified the strength?** of these polymers with Gel Permeation Chromatography **is GPC capitalized for a reason?**. The polymers were then tested practically on grout or mortarto determine their  performance in concrete: setting time, compressive strength, and rheology. **can you name benefits of your polymer-based concrete above others?  did it set faster?  how much faster?  resist more compressive strength?  etc.  I myself love the ellipsis (...), but sadly, it has no place in a business letter.  ^_^**

My experience in applied chemical engineering also includes a 1-year internship at Rostiang Tannery in Long Thanh, Vietnam, in which I strengthened my skills as a manager as well as a scientist.  **Can you speak about the level of their production in terms of Euros, units, etc.?  You want to show the reviewer the scope of your position.**  I was put in control of leather production, for which I coordinated across purchasing, production, R & D, and marketing departments. I set-up an analysis laboratory to test and ensure that all leather made respects European standards. In addition, I trained and managed a chemical engineer in these tests.

As a member of a youth organization **tell what youth organization**, I have developed interpersonal skills **which ones?**.  I appreciate teamwork, which I regard as very important. **why? what caused you to appreciate teamwork?**

I am confident that my skills combined with enthusiasm to learn would make me a good member of your team. Moreover, the challenge of working abroad would provide me with a valuable cultural and linguistic experience. **If this is a university position, this is appropriate.  If it's a company, this is potentially damaging - it's their job to do business, not support cultural exchange.  You could flip it to the other side and say that YOU would provide the company with applied international experience, esp. if they do business in Europe or Se Asia.** 

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully, 

Marie xxxxxxxx

Re: Application for R&D Manager, Colossus Construction

Good afternoon:

Construction professionals are looking for materials with many properties, including those that are environmentally friendly and low-cost. To remain competitive, it is necessary to develop innovative materials. My knowledge of chemical engineering for construction applications, gained through both study and professional experiences, leads me to offer my application for the position of R&D Manager at Colossus Construction.

During a 6-month internship in Lafarge research center at XYZ University, Paris, I synthesized superplasticizing polymers for concrete, using conventional radical polymerization or RAFT, with methacrylic monomers. After synthesis, I tested the purity and strength of these polymers with Gel Permeation Chromatography. The polymers were then tested practically on grout or mortar to determine their performance in concrete: setting time, compressive strength, and rheology. Concrete made with my polymers outperformed traditional mixtures on all measures, and estimates for commercial production suggest it would cost 30% less.

My experience in applied chemical engineering also includes a 1-year internship at Rostiang Tannery in Long Thanh, Vietnam, in which I strengthened my skills as a manager as well as a scientist.  Rostiang is a mid-sized plant, generating 2 million Euros in business per year. I was put in control of leather production, for which I coordinated across purchasing, production, R & D, and marketing departments. I set-up an analysis laboratory to test and ensure that all leather made respects European standards. In addition, I trained and managed a chemical engineer in these tests.

As a member of XYZ, a youth organization dedicated to working with disadvantaged youth, I have developed confidence, active communication skills, and the ability to motivate volunteers.  Working together for a common goal has helped me appreciate teamwork, which I regard as very important.

I am confident that my skills combined with enthusiasm to learn would make me a good member of your team.   I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully,

Marie xxxxxxxx

English cover letter

Hi everybody,
I am looking for a job. I wrote a cover letter in English. Tell me if you think there are some any mistakes. Thanks


Marie xxxxxx
xxxxxxxxx
75013 PARIS
FRANCE
tel: +33 6 xxxxxxxxxxx
[email protected] at Paris, the 30th September


Re: application for a position as graduate chemical engineer’s position


Dear Sir or Madam,


Construction professionals are looking for materials with many properties, environmentally friendly and low cost. To remain competitive, it is necessary to develop innovative materials. My knowledge acquired during my studies and my professional experiences lead me to offer my application.

During My 6-month internship in the Lafarge research center of Lafarge I gained experience of enabled me to synthesis of polymers (superplasticizer) for concrete. These syntheses were carried out by conventional radical polymerization or RAFT using methacrylic monomers. The syntheses were followed by Gel Permeation Chromatography. The polymers were then tested on grout or mortar to determine the performance of concrete: setting time, compressive strength, rheology.

I did a 1-year internship in Vietnam in Long Thanh in Rostaing Tannery. My work was to control the production of leather. For that, I worked with purchasing, production, R & D, marketing departments.  I set-up an analysis laboratory. I tested the leather made so that respects European standards. In addition, I trained and managed a chemical engineer in these tests.

As a member of a youth organization, I have developed interpersonal and teamworking skills and I appreciate teamwork, which I regard as very important.

I am confident that my enthusiasm to learn would enable me to fit into your team. Moreover, the challenge of working abroad would provide me with a most very valuable cultural and linguistic experience.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully

Marie xxxxxxxx