My sister's new game

Today my sister bought a Nintento ds, so she is very excited about it.

She loves that game (in the US we would say "gaming system", or "console"), and now she needs to buy new games for it.

I was telling her that she can donwload some games from internet, but i think she wants one specific games that she can only buy on in the shops (you can say "in the shops" or "in shops").

I have my own video game console, its a PSP game (you could also say "the psp").

I have many games but she can't used it them on her ds because they are differente consoles.

She was talking with my dad because she needs some money to get her games, but my dad said that she needs to wait until October because ('cause is okay in spoken English, but shouldn't be used when writing English) there´s are some offerts deals (you can say "sales", "offers", or "deals") on at the shops so where she can (you could also say "she will be able to") buy more than one game.

I hope this new game donesn´t affect her schoolwork.

Great job Nes!  Corrections are in red, and comments or additional ways to say the same thing are in blue.