Letter II  two

Dear Tom,

Last week I get received a letter from my brother Ben. He had It was bad news because he has lost his job. You know, [This implies Tom is stupid and does not know anything].  We are living in difficult times with the this economic crisis hanging over us. Moreover, [Too business-like.]He asked me if it is possible that he can live in my flat with me for awhile time. What do you think about of it? [Redundant. You have already made your mind and it is really none of his business.  You are just venting out your frustrations to a friend.]From my point of view, I must have no choice but to allow him to live in my flat do so. Although, Though it may be will be difficult for both live together again, since we don't see eye to eye on many things. we have differents points of view in a lot of thinks. However, we can just have to do our best, and bear/tolerate each other we can live together in peace.

I am afraid that this is going to be a big decision. Do you fancy to meet with me on the weekend a talk about the matter? 

I am looking forward to know your advice.

I really need someone to talk with. I am most grateful if you have some time on the weekend to meet up.

See you soon.

In the old days, this letter would be okay.  With today's technology, such snail mail only shows that you are two are not good friends at all.  It is very impolite to write such a letter.  It would be better to use the phone.  I doubt the place you live does not have telephones.  I think to practise your English, it would be better to write on something lighter, perhaps a letter/postcard about your vacation.

Letter two

Dear Tom,

Last week I got a letter from my brother Ben. He had bad news because he had lost his job. You know, we are living in dificult times with the economic crisis. Moreover, he asked me if it was possible for him to live in my flat with me for a time while. What do you think about it? From my point of view, I must to allow him to live in my flat although it might be difficult for both of us to live together again, we have differents points of view in a lot of thinks things. However, we can do our best, and we can live together in pace peace (?).

I am afraid that this is going to be a big decision. Do you fancy meeting with me on the weekend to talk about the matter?

I am looking forward to know hearing your advice.

See you soon.