Hello!

My name is Eve and I'm a high school student.
My favorite star is 최민환. 
He is a drummer in FT Island so I want to learn about Korea.  < ? The country?
                                                      so I want to learn Korean. < ? The language?
English is the most important language in the world.
But my English isn't good.

I want to be a chef in my future, so I need learn to learn about Japanese.

Finally, welcome everyone.  I hope we will become friends. (be good friends)

Red              = Capitalization

Blue             =  Correction and Spelling

Green         =  A more natural way to say / more common

Purple        =  My comment or suggestion

Underline   = Punctuation  and/ or  spacing

HELLO~ (Usually in English, we just repeat the final letter, so I would say "hellooo" =] )

My name is Eve, and I'm a high school student.
My favorite star is 최민환.
He is a drummer in FT Island, so I want to learn about Korean.

English is important language in the world, but my English is so bad. (This sounds more natural)

I want to be a cook in the future, so I need learn about Japanese.



Finally, welcome everybody, and I hope we will be friends.





Your English isn't bad! There are just minor mistakes =]