I want to change myself

Hi there!
Recently I've received a really hard lesson from life.
A month ago I met a boy who seemed to me more different than the other boys that I've met before.
He was so polite, tender and sweet with me and seemed to me that he really cared about me.
I know... one month is not enough to understand who the person in front of us really is. 

The problem is that i feel this lack of love since the beginning in my life...maybe it's because my parents left me alone when my brothers were born.
I was only two years old the first time and maybe I felt a lot of pain thinking that they had abandoned me.
Perhaps for this reason, I suddenly get attached to people who shows me some interest or friendship.
And I fall in love very often .
So I thought this boy was so pure and innocent, and instead  (however) recently I've understood (found out) that he lied to me and made fun of me.
I'm very disappointed now and I'm angry with myself.
I'm thirty years old and still act like a teenager...
I want to change myself so I've decided to stay alone for a while and to not look for anyone !

Great life choice...Great english... 

*we would place really is after the subject and description...

*to find out = to get a revelation/understanding

i.e. At the time, i never knew who 'my colleague from work' really was, i found out later that he had strong ties with the Mafia.