Melophoby (Part VII) Correct
In her house, Alice started to write one song to Louis. She thought that that way would be the best to conquer him. She was so excited that spent days and nights writing the song. She didn’t know nothing about Louis’s sickness. The day when she finished the song, she recorded it and send it to Louis in one CD. In the pocket where the CD was, she wrote her e-mail and request him to answer her. One day, she dragged the pocket underneath Louis’s door house and after waited for the response in front of her laptop.
::::::THE FIRST PARTS:::::::::::::::
There was one day that his classmates played a joke on him. They let Louis came in the classroom first, indeed, he was alone. Therefore, silent. Ten minutes passed and nobody entered to the classroom, but, shortly afterwards, the bully blared his iPod connected to speakers at high volume. It pained Louis’s head and nobody listened to his screams. Really, Louis only heard 10 seconds of one death metal song, but that was enough that Louis fell, passed out.
He woke up on his bed. His mother looked him with pity: poor boy; he will never can feel his skin chimed by the feeling of one good piece of jazz, he will never can feel his blood evaporate with the intensity of one rock’s guitar riff, he will never can feel his heart hits with the rhythm of dance music. Yes, poor deaf boy. He can listen, but, if he can’t have pleasure with music, is as if he were deaf. In this sense, the deafness is the death.
Alice plays piano since she was 4 years. She has absolute pitch, that gift when one person can identify all the notes of one melody, even can identify the notes in common sounds as klaxon’s cars, microwaves, people’s voice and another one thousand stuffs. She has the same age of Louis and they don’t know them, until now.
Alice lives near to Louis’s house. One day, they crossed their looks on the street. She was at one side and Louis at the other side. Both stop their walking for a very quickly moment to don’t be obvious, but they like each other immediately. The curly hair of Alice stayed on Louis’s mind all the day; and the Louis’s smile provoked happiness to Alice.
Search from various English teachers...
Corrections · 2
0
Melophoby (Part VII) Correct [Not sure what this word is. Melody?]
At home, Alice started to write a song to Louis. She thought that it would be the best way to win him. She was so excited that she spent several days and nights writing the song. She didn’t know anything about Louis’s sickness. The day when she finished the song, she recorded it and sent it to Louis on a CD. In the pocket where the CD was, she wrote her e-mail and requested him to answer her. Then, she slid the CD underneath Louis’s door house and after waited for the response in front of her laptop.
::::::THE FIRST PARTS:::::::::::::::
There was one day Louis's classmates played a joke on him. They let Louis come into the classroom first. He was alone, therefore, silent. Ten minutes passed, and nobody entered to the classroom, but, shortly afterwards, the bully blared his iPod connected to speakers at high volume. It hurt Louis’s ears and nobody listened to his screams. Really, Louis only heard 10 seconds of one death metal song, but that was enough that Louis fell and passed out. [passing out implies falling]
He woke up on his bed. His mother looked at him with pity: poor boy; he will never can feel his skin (soothed???) by the feeling of a good piece of jazz music, he will never can feel his blood boil/sing/dance with the intensity of a rock’s guitar riff, he will never can feel his heart beat to the rhythm of dance music. Yes, poor deaf boy. He can listen, but, if he can’t have pleasure with music, he might as well be deaf. In this sense, the deafness is the death.
Alice has played the piano since she was 4 years. She has absolute pitch, a gift when a person can identify all the notes of one melody, even can identify the notes in common sounds as (klaxon’s???) cars, microwaves, people’s voice and a thousand other things. She is the same age as Louis (and he doesn't know those sounds until now.)<-wasn't sure what this last bit referred to)
Alice lives near to Louis’s house. One day, they exchanged looks on the street. She was on one side and Louis on the other side. Both stopped their walking for a brief moment so that they would not be obvious, but they liked each other immediately. The Alice's curly hair stayed in Louis’s mind all the day; and the Louis’s smile made Alice happy.
We never use the construction: he will never can feel
We DO use the following constructions:
He can feel...
He can't feel...
He will never feel...
He will always remember the feeling of...
(just to name a few)
Find a lesson somewhere that goes over the difference between "a" and when to use "one" in English. We typically use one when we mean exactly ONE or when we are placing emphasize on a certain thing. We don't do it very much. I guess keep reading in English and pay attention to when "one" and when "a" is used?
Also, you might be intersted in the phrase "love at first sight" or "true love" if you do not have them in your language!
Want to progress faster?
Join this learning community and try out free exercises!
Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!
Start Learning Today
