Current Life Still, I haven't found my direction. It is my problem. I think I have mental issue. I don't want to give a call to anybody which may be my parents, sister and brother. I don't think I have good friends as we don't connect with each other for a long time. When they need you, they will find you. This is not a real friendship. I speak a little in the office. I eat alone, walk alone, think alone. My heart is too small to hold someone. I have thought about suicide for many times. But I fear if I were dead, my parents would feel very sad. I never think of getting married. However, my career does not develop very well. I want to quit again. I has been a year since I stay in the company. Everything seems too bad. The headache makes me sick. The pain in the neck also get me desperate. I don't believe the world agrees me to keep alive. Ingore these stupid thoughts if you happen to read my entry. I have not written something here for a very long time. All I wrote is about the complaints of life which is meaningless for me. My head is odd. The brain often thinks something rediculous. I am badly ill in spirit. I need a psychology doctor. But I am too poor to afford this. What a pity!