Hate someone

The weather is bad today, there's no sun in the sky.
I don't like this kind of weather. Feel bad!
I hate someone, my father.
I didn't see him scine we leave left my home six years ago. He is a bad man! I am sure, but I can't hold myself. ("hold myself" - I don't know exactly what you mean) When we leave left there, my mother asked me:" Will you come back one day to find your father?" I said:" No, of course not! He hurted us! I want to leave him at once! " In fact, I just thought that This it just a joke, we will would be back after some days but it was ture and I can't change it.
The last night before we leave left there, my parents have had a row, my father shoutted at my mother and me, I was crying at that time, I can't stop this! !
My mother told me I:" Your father said that he won't do things like he did before, and asked us to back return." I didn't say anything. I thought: It's a bit late, not (isn't it) ? We can't go back (return) forever! I forget what he seems was likes but I can't forget, that night, he drank too much wine, and hurted my mother, I forget how many times he did like this!
I miss my grandfather, he is a so such a kind man. But I heared he dead died two years ago. But his son, why was he is so bad?