IELTS Academic writing task 1

Hello! I write here below my answer to a sample writing task 1 found in this website: http://www.dcielts.com/task-1-2/a-model-bar-chart-report-step-by-step/

Instructions are: The following pie charts show the results of a survey into the most popular leisure activities in the United States of America in 1999 and 2009.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
(20 minutes; 150 words as a minimum)

My answer:
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The two charts show the results of a survey about the most popular leisure activities in the USA in two selected years: 1999 and 2009.

In 1999 the most popular activity was walking, with 29% of people choosing it. The second more MOST popular activity was soccer, with 17% of people. Hobbies SUCH as aerobics, bicycling, swimming, camping and jogging each totalized RECORDED/ACHIEVED percentages between 13% and 7% respectively. The least popular sport was yoga, that obtained only 5%.

In 2009 walking was still the most popularv activity and HAD increased by 2 points per cent. Soccer remained about the same, at 18%, and was MATCHED/EQUALED reached by swimming, that thus resulted to have WHICH HAD doubled its practicants PARTICIPANTS. Camping, as well, remained almost the same, while a new entry, weightlifting, reached 10%. Bicycling reduced of BY 5% and yoga was noT more practiced by the interviewed people. In 2009 the least popular activities were then aerobics and jogging, that achieved respectively 4% and 3%.
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thank you
Bye

IELTS Academic writing task 1

Hello! Below, I write wrote here below my answer to a sample writing task 1 found in on this website: http://www.dcielts.com/task-1-2/a-model-bar-chart-report-step-by-step/

Instructions are: The following pie charts show the results of a survey into the most popular leisure activities in the United States of America in 1999 and 2009.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
(20 minutes; 150 words as a minimum)

My answer:
------------
The two charts show the results of a survey about the most popular leisure activities in the USA in two selected years: 1999 and 2009.

In 1999 the most popular activity was walking, with 29% of people choosing it. The second more most popular activity was soccer, with 17% of people. Hobbies as like aerobics, bicycling, swimming, camping and jogging each totalized percentages between 13% and 7% respectively. The least popular sport was yoga, that which only obtained only 5%.

In 2009 walking was still the most popularv activity and increased by 2% (Or percent) points per cent. Soccer remained about the same, at 18%, and was reached met by swimming as well, which that thus resulted to have in twice as many doubled its participants. Camping, as well, remained almost the same, while a new entry, weightlifting, reached 10%. Bicycling reduced of to 5% and yoga was not more practiced by the people interviewed people. In 2009 the least popular activities were then aerobics and jogging, that which achieved respectively 4% and 3%.
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thank you
Bye