My Campus

Dear friend

If you can come to drop by my college,_I will show you around my the campus. There are some interested interesting places, such as school the basketball courts ground, the college history museum of college, my dormitory and our canteen and so on.__Firstly, My favorite sport is school basket ground where some basketball fans play and so it is of major interest to me.  some audiences are attracted by some smart acts and handsome players. [It is cheesy in English to write something like this.] I also play basketball with my friends everyday.__Not only do we are all very enjoy the game time of playing, it not only helps us to relieve the mental stress of studying,_but also physically. to relax our body that this will be beneficial to the next study. [画蛇添足]

Secondly,Our college has the a long history of sixty years or so. If you come in , you will firstly also see some photos whom are of some excellent outstanding individuals who created the fine cirriculum of the school. represent the developed course of our school and some significant times.__There are also some pictures,_books and videos,which are all used to introduce the history of my college.__Finally, I would like to give you a tour of my home and show my small home and our canteen to let you see how we live and interact in our daily lives.  , because there are a lot of interested things, for example,my friends often talk with some humor things as we eat and they also share some achievements and some folly things about any of us. Above More importantly, we will be most honoured if you become a friend with us.  all, I will very happy, if you can come see my college,my friends and me.

Jimmy

Translate the original and corrected into Chinese and determine the difference in sincerity and warmth.  If you have problem in thinking with an English mind, you can first write your essay in Chinese before translating into English.  Ideas and intent are independent of language.