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First notebook entry: Introducing myself I am learning English ,because I will attend IELTS in 9.22 and I also want to improve my English skills. My native language is Chinese ,and I grew up in China .I enjoy talking with others and listening music.

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Please note the correct placement of commas and periods. Please see my correction for examples.
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First notebook entry: Introducing myself

I am learning English ,because I will attend IELTS in 9.22 and I also want to improve

I am learning English, because I will be attending IELTS starting September 22nd, and I want to improve my English skills.  My native language is Chinese, and I grew up in China.  I enjoy talking with others and listening to music.

my English skills. My native language is Chinese ,and I grew up in China .I enjoy talking with others and listening music.

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First notebook entry: Introducing myself

I am learning English because I will attend be starting the IELTS course in 9.22 on the 22nd of September and I also want to improve my English skills. My native language is Chinese, and I grew up in China. I enjoy talking with others to other people and listening to music.

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