God bless me

Day after day, how the years have past ! My classmates  child  bought me soy sauce. I am still alone.  My parents see me, when I go back home alone each time. They were so worried about me, because, one by one, my classmates have married.. Some are younger than me but also have partners.

Why is spring so far away from me? I don't know what to do, but I  don't give  up.

Notes: Sanny I am assuming that this is a translation of a Chinese story into English.

English has a sentence structure of subject - verb - object. I think that Chinese is  more Object - verb (In my simple understanding of a complex language).

So I applied this idea and then had some thoughts about what would be usual in English.

I didn't think peers was a correct choice so I substituted classmates, the people that you went to school with. And I thought also that this was an internal thought so I 'don't give me up.' to 'I don't give up' which shows your inner strength.

My old English teachers disliked the word 'got' so I have removed that as well.

What do you think ? Have I gone seriously off track ?

God bless me

Day after day, how many years have passed by. My peers' child has bought soy sauce. I am still be a alone. My parents see me, when I come back home alone every time. They are so worried about me, because my peers got married one by one. Some that are younger than me, also have another partners.

Why is my spring are so far away from me? I don't know what to do, but and don't give up on me.

God bless me

Day after day, Days follow days. How many years has  have past me by.  My peers‘ child had has bought soy sauce. I still be a am alone. My parents saw me, when I went back home alone every time. They were so worried about me, because my peers got married one by one. Some are younger than me, another  also has another  a partner.

Why is my spring are far away from me? I don't know how  what to do,and don't give me up on me.