The Golden Gate Bridge

I went to United States last year. San Francisco is was the first city I stopped by. The plane left Beijing to San Francisco, taking almost 11 hours crossing the Pacific Ocean The flight from Beijing to San Francisco across the Pacific Ocean took almost eleven hours.

I saw the Golden Gate Bridge from the window when as the plane was descending declining. I had heard of the bridge when I was young, and had only seen it from on TV. So I was so excited to see the real thing one. I couldn’t help to must visiting it. After checked in checking into my hotel, I went to the Gate immediately.

When I arrived there, the sky was turning dark. The lights on the bridge were all lighten lit up. The bright orange hued bridge contrasted with the dark blue sky, making it so much more beautiful and magnificent in the evening.

If you have you paid attention to the spanning cables of holding the bridge, they are so thick that one cannot embrace its diameter with one's hand.  It was not like the size of ropes that I had imagined.  thought it just as thick as a rope. I didn’t realize that the cable on the bridge was so thick, that it couldn’t be embraced by stretched arms. Walking on the bridge, you could not cannot but to be awed by admire this great project.

It was deep in October, and the ocean winds were he wind blew from the ocean was very chilly. I ran shoreside across the bridge quickly. On reaching the end of the bridge, the wind had died down suddenly.  diminished suddenly. Looking back to at the bridge, I found that the fog had surrounded engulfed the bridge completely.  unwittingly; I cannot evenouldn’t see the top of the bridge.  due to the fog. 画蛇添足.

At About the same time, a beam of shining colored light from the bottom of the bridge rayed beamed into the sky. Looked like the light was about to It was as if it was cutting into tear out the sky, making the bridge so mysterious. So wonderful!

Except for the choice of words and other more "natural" way of expressing, your feelings about the trip and the bridge came out very well.  Good job!