plz help me correct my writing of I didn't know Mr. ielts. was so serious... >>> thanks so much <<< Bad. Either many thanks or thank you so much, when that "s" is added, it becomes a (morphologically) countable noun (even though you never count how many thanks exactly), which "much" can't match. 

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

It is quite common these days that young people in some countries have a break after graduating from the ("the" not needed) high school. The trend is not restrict(ed) to the rich students who can spend money to travel (how about "who can afford to travel abroad/afford a trip abroad", because everyone can and must "spend money" to travel), but also (somehow don't feel like an "also" here, because the first half is negative (trend is not), unlike "not only" (which by the way wouldn't be appropriate if used here), the "also" consequentially is not necessary here, just like "it's not that, but this"; but won't sound so wrong with it either) the poorer students can choose to work and becoming (either no "and", keep the gerund "becoming" but with a comma in between, or to say "and become") economically (try "financially") independent for a period ("some" instead of "a period" here, alt "for a while") time. (forgot the term for poor student, you could try "affluent students", "students from wealthy backgrounds", or something, if you want to make your words a little phony, you know. )

The reason for this trend may relate with ("with" is passable, better be "to") the recognition that young people who passes (people--pass) directly from highschool to university is (ditto, "are") rather (try avoiding slanglike words amap, "very" is just fine) restricted (try "limited", "inexperienced", "immature") in terms of general knowledge and experience of the social. (just "social experience") So, those who spent (better "spend/have spent", a common, universal phenomenon) time or money on earning living and travelling to other places, (optional: would) have a wider horizon of life and the ("the" redundant, better "more") precious personal resources (how about just "experience", "resources" sounds like it's denoting "connections", "sophisticatedness"). They tend to (be) more independent, which is an important factor in academic study. At the same time, it seems that they are more experienced to solve the problems of personal relationship ("the problems of personal relationship" into "interpersonal relationship problems", the solo experssion "personal relationship" is easy to get confused with, you know, the boy/girlfriend thing, why not just say "socializing/social life problems). 

However, there are certainly dangers in ("in" optional, sometimes you could cut the prepositions to make the sentence sound more brief and concise, esp when followed by a gerund, like spend time doing above) doing these things at (at to around) that important age (bad put, what important age). First, the (you have problem correctly using "the", seriously. Although this "the" is optional here, but not strict grammar) young adults (just "the youth" instead, "the" required) are lack of (are in lack of, or simply just "lack" as the verb) the awareness of protecting themselves (or self-protection). Second, they will lose themselves in the travelling or playing (hang around, muck around, amusement, can't think of a good word here), it is difficult to returning (no "ing") to their studies or hard to ("hard to" repetitive) readapt to the academic environment. Sometimes, students may think getting the (the "the" problem again) social experience is more useful than the (like I said, the use of "the" is very subtle, it's not too wrong placing it here, but "their", "an" would be better) academic qualification.

In my opinion, the young people (you know, saying "the young people" makes you sound a little slang, but "the youth" is a fixed phrase) should be encourage(d) to broader (how do you spell the verb? Broaden? Dunno. ) the horizons and views (boy you just can't get off your "horizon"). And students can get a clear perspective of what they are hoping to do ("be doing" is perfectly correct here, but the thing is, if you can just use present in a context, then use it, it makes your writing looks relatively formal in an exam situation) in the future. Those who has (you also need to pay attention to person-match, "have" here) such prospective can choose the right major when they enter the (the needless again, saying too many "the"s like this makes you sound slang and colloquial) university.

It's basically just a grammar check above. I kind of heard of the routine stuff of the test and all. But still, try making your style not so "serious", it's too stiff and sleepy already, avoid difficult words, esp when you yourself are even not sure about its use, use easy words, but do not keep using one, shuffle. Work on the whole structuring, stating some novel ideas, try some literary devices if possible, make it different from others, off the cuff but not the limit, try a little bit of "interaction" with your reader namely your grader here. Don't be afraid to try something fancy.

I'm no guy of no expertise in this stuff, never taken one, but I mean, if you really want to make your writing a little, ... I don't know. You look at the standard writing examples of such tests (I just took the postgrad one, really sick of it) and you can immediately tell it gotta be some Chinese guy's work. It's about the way they think, not write. The sino-lized way of thinking, that's why even without one single mistake, it's still called "Chinglish". That's awkward.

plz help me correct my writing of ielts.thanks so much

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

It is quite common these days for young people in some countries to take a break after graduating from high school. The trend is not restricted to rich students who can spend money on travel; poorer students can also choose to work and become economically independent for a period of time.

The reason for this trend may relate to the recognition that young people who pass directly from school to university are rather restricted in terms of general knowledge and social experience. So, those who spend time or money on earning a living or travelling to other places have a broader horizon in their life, and precious personal resources. They tend to more independent, which is an important factor in academic study. At the same time, it seems that they are more experienced to solve the problems in personal relationships.

However, there are certainly dangers in doing these things at that important age. First, the young adults lack the awareness needed to protect themselves. Second, if they lose themselves in travelling or playing, it is difficult to return to their studies, or hard to adapt again to the academic environment. Sometimes, students may think getting the social experience is more useful than the academic qualification.

In my opinion, young people should be encouraged to broaden their horizon and views. Students can get a clearer perspective of what they are hoping to do in the future. Those who have such a perspective can choose the right major when they enter university.