next week. final week. This is just a journal. It has been a long time that I haven't written anything here. so many things are troubling me that I can't even breath. I knew I didn't work hard in this semester and I couldn't get all A in every courses. I feel sorry about myself because this semester I chose to work instant of focus on my study. I don't know if I am wrong or not. Sometimes I think about what if I shouldn't have worked, but sometimes I feel happy when I have my own money can buy gifts for my family on holidays. I feel so tired this semester, everyday I feel sleepy and absent-mind I don't know why. Many I just too tired. I passed exit exam for writing these days. I was shocked and couldn't believe it when I saw my B number on the board. After that I found out that my grade was the lowest one in the pass number list. Anyway, I was so happy that I even forgot I still need to take final exam next week. However, I heard from my teacher today, she said people who passed exit exam need to take the other exam on next week for grammar. If I pass, I don't need to take grammar and writing class anymore and I can go head to choose college courses. The reason why I took ESL programs is to pass exit exam. But I feel I don't have any confident at it right now. I know it should be easy for me because I have been learning English for a long time. that is the one of things that troubles me. the other thing is my poor spoken English. The day before yesterday, Jonathan gave me a call and we had a very good conversation ( only for my opinion). However, Because I am not good at talking. I was using a wrong word to describe him. I said " you are so mean". but I didn't know what actually it means but I did say it and repeated several times. I should know it had problem because I can felt he was hesitate after I told him "mean". I didn't mean he is mean; in contract, he is my only friend that willing to call me and be patient to listen to me in the U.S. and I still feel guilty of my mistakes.