there is a graph
Please help me to correct my writting. thank you ~~ :P
The line graph illustrates information about the proportion of 1000 smokers in Someland from 1960 to 2000, the figure are divided by gender.
During the 40 years, the rate of male smoker was higher than female smoker since very beginning, maintained the main part in terms of smoking. To be precise, the male smoker rate kept a downward trend, decreased dramatically from 600 smokers in 1960 to around 250 smokers in 2000 over 1000 smokers in total. Finally, though the figure of male are much lower than 40 years ago and quite closer to female smokers, it still surpassed female.
In contrast, increasingly women were smoking before 1975, peaked at 300 in the mid of 1975 and the maximum rate kept till to mid 1980. Since then, the figure of female smoker declined slightly and got to 200 people in 2000.
Overall, the gap of smoker between women and men were narrowed throughout 40 years. It is noticeable that more people had been aware of the cons of smoking.
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there is a graph
Please help me to correct my writting. thank you ~~ :P
The line graph illustrates information about the proportion of 1000 smokers in Someland from 1960 to 2000, the figure are divided by gender.
During the [past] 40 years, the ratio of male smokers was [always] higher than female smokers since very beginning for the period considered and maintained the main part and continues to be so. in terms of smoking. To be precise, the ratio of male smokers rate kept maintained a downward trend, decreasing dramatically from 600 smokers in 1960 to around 250 smokers over per 1000 smokers in total in by [the year] 2000. Finally, although the figure of for males are is much lower than 40 years ago and quite closer to female smokers, it still surpasses females.
In contrast, increasingly women were smoking before 1975, peaked at 300 in the mid of 1975 and the maximum rate kept rising untill to mid 1980. Since then, the figure of female smokers declined slightly and got to 200 people per 1000 in [the year] 2000.
Overall, the gap of smokers between women and men were narrowed throughout the 40 years. From this trend it is noticeable that more people are now had been aware of the cons of smoking.
Notes:
Sorry for so much red :(
"since very beginning, maintained the main part in terms of smoking" is a bit awkwardly expressed so I have rewritten it for you. Things in [ ] are optional but improve clarity.
Regards,
Andrew.
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