Qingjiang Art Gallery My Vacation 1

During the National Day in October, my father and I were went to the QingJiang Art Gallery. We stayed in here In October there for three or four days. My father and I were very happy visiting the place. in Qingjiang Art Gallery. On the first day, we climing climbed the mountain in afternoon.  In the, and evening we eating ate at the hotel of by the end of the mountain. The next day, we eat had breakfast in the hotel.  After a wonderful , the breakfast is very delicious, after breakfast we went to the QingJing Art Gallery by bus.  Later in the afternoon, we visited the lake by boat 2ship, in the noon, and then we were went ashore.  There is are many mountains in the ashore,around and we began climbing themmountains. Afternoon By evening,3 we returned by ship, in the end, we go back by and finally took the bus home.

I think This trip is very interesting, and I like it very much.

Glad that you had a wonderful vacation. Continue to write more to improve your English.

1.  Your merely mentioned the art gallery as one of your itinerary stops but your entire essay is written about your vacation.  So the title should be what I had corrected otherwise, it is like 掛羊頭賣狗肉.

2.  Check the dictionary to see what is the difference between a "boat" and a "ship".

3.  There is some timing logic errors here.  I can't imagine you doing all these things so quickly in just one short afternoon.  So I am guessing the time here.  If you did, you must explain how you do it.  This is beyond normal thinking.

Qingjiang Art Gallery

On National Day, my father and I went to QingJiang Art Gallery. We stayed here on October 3rd for four days.

My father and I were very happy in Qingjiang Art Gallery. On the first day, we climbed the mountain in the afternoon, and in the evening we ate at the hotel after climbing the mountain. The next day, we ate breakfast in the hotel, and the breakfast was very delicious. Then after breakfast, we went to QingJing Art Gallery by taking the bus, and we also visited the lake by ship. Then in noon, we were ashore, and there were many mountains by the shore,and we began climbing the mountains. In the afternoon we returned back by ship. in the end, we went back to our hotel by bus.
I think this trip was very interesting, and I liked it very much.