Don`t slip the mountain
One day, we walked to the mountains, the weather was sunny, Salah and Mohamad wanted to climb the mountain.
Then, suddenly, Salah slippery because he ran fast, so, he has broken his foot and twisting his ankle, Mohamad took his phone next, he called the ambulance.
Not long after, an ambulance came and took me to the hospital, then, the doctor carried me on the whole chair and asked me "Don`t climb the mountains, that is dangerous for you.
Finally, we backed our home and ate corn flacks, Salah said: " Today was a beautiful day for Mohamad but it was awful for me ".
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Don`t slip on the mountain
One day, we walked to the mountains. The weather was sunny, so Salah and Mohamad wanted to climb the mountain. (You could also say "Salah and Mohamad wanted to go mountain climbing.")
Then, suddenly, Salah slipped because he ran too fast; he broke his foot and twisted his ankle. Mohamad took his phone next and called an ambulance.
Not long after, an ambulance came and took me (Are the speaker and Salah different people? Or are you switching from Third Person Point of View to First Person?) to the hospital. The doctor then pushed me in a wheelchair and told me, "Don`t climb mountains, it's dangerous."
Finally, when we got back home and ate cornflakes, Salah said, "Today was a beautiful day for Mohamad but it was awful for me."
This is a very interesting story! The only thing that is unclear is whether or not "We" refers to just Salah and Mohamad, or to Salah, Mohamah and an unknown third person (the speaker/Point of View person). It sounds like the Point of View changes a few times throughout the story. If the "me" who gets taken to the hospital is Salah, it has to use his name or a he/him pronoun instead of a personal pronoun. Otherwise, you can instead use personal (I/me) pronouns whenever Salah is mentioned in the passage instead of his name, to keep it consistent. I hope this helps/makes sense! Let me know if there's anything else I can explain!
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