toefl independent essay, day 13
Could you please correct my essay?
Agree or disagree : personal experiences is more valuable than the knowledge we gain from books.
Essay
It is critically important to find your own way of studying according to your personal preferences and abilities. I am of the opinion that knowledge which can be gained on your own is much more valuable than information received from articles and books. I will explore the reasons why I feel this way in the following essay.
To begin with, it has been proved by scientists that the information which was connected with an emotional event is saved by the brain more precisely and quickly transformed into a long-term memory. Everybody has a recollection about an event that brought him a plethora of happiness, for example about a birthday in a childhood, when parents tried to create an atmosphere of magic for their children. Doubtlessly, every experience that we receive by our own is connected with a particular emotion. My own experience is a compelling example of it. Three years ago, when I graduated from my university, my classmates organised a celebration with a disco and champagne. This night fulfilled me with enjoy and I can clearly recall every conversation that I had had on this event. In contrast, I can not remember a thing from the course of theoretical physics that I have passed at the same time. This example demonstrates how emotions can help us to recall the particular experience from the past.
Second, sometimes it is necessary to do something using your hands just because there are no books that can teach you how to do it. It is crucial to have your own knowledge of how to adjust microscopes in a laboratory, when you are a scientist, and no article in the world can help you with this. For instance, when I came to my laboratory, I had no understanding of how to conduct experiments. Firstly, I had tried to find an information about the particular technique in articles, but I faced with the absence of clear description. Nevertheless, I began to adjust the device by my own and sooner achieved success. If I had not begn to try to conduct the experience without a manual, I would never have had a publication in a famous magazine.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that personal experience is much more informative and helpful than the information in books. This is because of better recollection, when the event is emotional coloured and because of practical skills that can not be acquired anywhere except by your own.
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Could you please correct my essay?
Agree or disagree : personal experiences is are more valuable than the knowledge we gain from books.
Essay
It is critically important to find balance your own personal way of studying and tailor according to your personal preferences and abilities. I am of the opinion that knowledge which can be gained on your own believe that personal experience is much more valuable than information received from articles and learnt from books. I will explore the These are my reasons why I feel this way in the following essay.
As a personal example: of it. Three years ago, when I graduating from my university, my classmates organised a celebration complete with a disco dancing and champagne served. This That night fulfilled me with great enjoy and today, I can still see it very clearly, every recall every conversation transpired as if was just only yesterday. that I had had on this event. In contrast, I can not remember nary a single word thing from the course of from my theoretical physics class recalled. that I have passed at the same time. This example demonstrates how emotions can help us to recall the particular experience from the past to glean things of long ago from the dusty corridors of my minds.
Your essay can be understood, otherwise I cannot correct. However, as for TOEFL testing, you need more improvement on not to be wordy, repeating unnecessary. You need to show you have a command of common idioms to show you have a better grasp of the language and add some color to a otherwise drab essay. Remember your essay is not the only one an examiner has to read. There are hundreds of others. Your essay needs to grab his attention...
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