My Boy Friend

I met my boy friend when I was 20 years old.That day is was the first day of of the school term beginning. My parents and accompanied me to I went to my the university with a lot of baggage. We were carrying many pieces of luggage.  Then at that fateful At that moment, a boy was comming came and helped us.  I found that He was so handsome and friendly. At last, He gave me his phone number. I wanted to be his girl friend but when I heared heard that he had had has a girlfriend, I was sad and my heart was broken and vowed not to telephone him.  never to contacted with him.

After nearly 3 years had gone by, he had graduated and had to leave soon.  I met him and gave him some sugars candy1 that he liked.  He said told me that his girl friend had left him half and 2 two and half years ago.  I was surprised and regretted at the same time.  Surprised by this relevation; regretted because I could be with him all that time! 2

Like a blink of the eye, time passed very quickly.  When I would graduate and prepared I was prepared to go to Chongqing.  However he expected3 hoped that I could go to Shanghai and be with him 4. together with him for love.

So here I am now in Shanghai now.And  We are very happy all the time.  In my eyes,he is loyal, handsome, serious and so on. I think he is the most 5 perfect one for me 6. I have met. 7 I want to make him healthy and 8 happy.

1.   No! no! no!  You must have learnt wrongly from some movie or TV show or that you used a translator.  To give someone some sugar, in this setting means either you gave the boy a kiss or had sex with him!!!!!  In other instances, sugar means cocaine!  In US, the word is candy while in UK it is sweets.

2.  You need more emphasis here to make your writing more emotional and better reading.

3.  If he had expected me to go, I would have dumped him.  What a macho person he is.  Of course, if I was wrong and you had sex with him as you said earlier, then the word "expected" is reasonable.

4.  This is superflous because it is implied.  You don't have to 画蛇添足.

5.   Redundant.  Grammatically correct but logically flawed.  Perfect means no flaw...  So there can be nothing "more" perfect.

6.  Here's an expression you can learn: "He is the light of my life."

7.  The you write gives the impression that you are still looking for someone better to come along.  I don't think this is what you mean :)

8.  In Chinese you may get away with this but in English... It is a different story.  Are you trying to give him safe sex?  Are you going to take care of him as a mother? to keep him safe and healthy?  Too many conjectures in the way you wrote.  It is best to leave it out.  In English all this health business is implied.  Again you will adding legs to a snake.

Your punctuation spacing is atrocious.  See http://www.italki.com/knowledge/page/Mechanics%20Of%20The%20English%20Language.htm

Please ignore the last correction. I forgot two things before.

I met my boyfriend when I was 20 years old. That day was the first day of term beginning. My parents and I went to my university with a lot of baggage. At that moment, a boy was coming and helped us. I found that he was so handsome and friendly. At last, he gave me his phone number. I wanted to be his girlfriend, but I heard that he had had a girlfriend. I was sad and never contacted with him. 
After nearly 3 years, he graduated and had to leave soon. I met him and gave him some candies he liked. He said that his girlfriend left him 2 and a half years ago. I was surprised and regretful. 
Time passed very quickly. When I would graduated and prepared to go to Chongqing, he expected that I could go to Shanghai and together with him for love. 
So I am in Shanghai now and we are very happy all the time. 
In my eyes he is loyal, handsome, serious, and so on. I think he is the most perfect one I have met. I want to make him healthy and happy.

my boyfriend

I met my boyfriend when I was 20 years old. That day is the first day of term beginning. My parents and I went to my university with a lot of baggage. At that moment, a boy was coming and helped us. I found that he was so handsome and friendly. At last, he gave me his phone number. I wanted to be his girlfriend, but I heared that he had had a girlfriend. I was sad and never contacted with him. 
After nearly 3 years, he graduated and had to leave soon. I met him and gave him some candy he liked. He said that his girlfriend left him 2 and a half years ago. I was surprised and regretful. 
Time passed very quickly. When I would graduated and prepared to go to Chongqing, he expected that I could go to Shanghai and together with him for love. 
So I am in Shanghai now and we are very happy all the time. 
In my eyes he is loyal, handsome, serious and so on. I think he is the most perfect one I have met. I want to make him healthy and happy.

Excellent. I'm happy for you. :)