A strange man's letter

It's the time of weekend, when a the busy person can choose here to relax. The boy also came here, he looked forward to the last chance encounter. The boy waited and waited for even the shortest conversation, like an ordinary greeting to someone. Until the last moment he wanted to ask tell her what or took to take some photos - but finally he didn't do it finally, because he careful thought it was what is a bit funny after all as they haven't talked yet. The boy only put it in his mind……

Memories were floating in his mind. She was is not a very charming girl in someone else's eyes, but she seemed just like a fairy in his eyes. (This sentence is kind of awkward, you might also say "She might not be very charming to someone else, but she was just like a fairy to him.")

He has lovely smile like him.  (I don't know what you mean. Her smile made him like her?) Maybe the sentence "love sees no fault" would be the best description of his feelings. He always remembered the first contact in the class. The girl sat sitted next to boy him as his class partner. The girl had short hair at that time back then. When the time for discussion came moment, she girl didn’t mind his boy's poor speaking, but rather encouraged him and took him to speak. but this time Although the boy didn’t care the girl, as the time passed, the boy dont know when he started to expect the appearance of the girl. wait for her to appear.

Even though every time he missed her very much, when then she showed up he became a dumb boy, and didn’t dared to approach. Most of the time all what he could do was just escape, and turn back at the most times they met. He was nervous, shy, he was so confused that he couldn’t make up his mind! Time passed like this, 1 month, 2 months... Time and time again like this, he asked himself "Why is this girl that he can’t I get her out of his my mind? Why is she her everything I he wanted to find? Why does my his heart race when she appears?" Because he is talking to someone you use the quotation marks "" around what he says. Because he is talking to himself, he would say "I" not "he". This is called first person.

The boy took with him memories of Burger King.The girls of another desk talked about the boy, and he was excited that the girl knew him. But after that, time still pass, But boy still haven’t without any progress. He just has tried to hide it so that no one knows would know.

Time passed quickly. The courses just like this ended, and the boy regretted that he didn’td take advantage of any chance. The boy put this in his mind ,he knew he don't wouldn't have an opportunity any more. Maybe it is the god who plays playing a joke on him or maybe the story is to be continued.

The boy can’t get near her now, can not feel what he felt. ever feel, He tried to pretend it's was over. The boy seemed to heard the girl’s laughter and see saw her smile. Wherever she would go, whatever she would do, he will would be right here to missing her. But in the end, if he is could be with her, he will would take the chance. (You could write this last sentence a few ways. "But in the end, if he was with her, it would be worth the chance." or maybe "But if, in the end, he was with her, it would be worth it.")

Some things you need to work on that will quickly and easily improve your writing:

Make sure you put the comma (,) or period (.) up against the end of the word, and the space following it. You tend to put the space first and the punctuation mark at the beginning of the next word. This is not correct. For example:

The cat made me sneeze ,but I still loved him. INCORRECT

The cat made me sneeze, but I still loved him. CORRECT

Remember to capitalize (write big) the first letter of any sentence.

You use the elipses (...) too often. This is something you see in chat rooms or IMs a lot, but it is not correct to use that much. Try to use a period or comma instead. A comma indicates a pause, but the elipses is showing something is missing or unsaid, or that you trailed off instead of finishing your sentence. 

If you get these few things right it will help your writing quite a bit.

The last and harder thing would be to make sure the tense (present tense, past tense, future tense) stays the same in the sentence. This will take more practice. You need to make sure they match each other. For example:

He would have made fun of me, so I did not tell him. (the not telling already happened)

He will make fun of me, so I will not tell him. (the not telling is still in the future)

He is making fun of me, because I told him. (right now)

He made fun of me, because I told him. (happened before)

An easier example to fix would be

My dog died, he was a wonderful dog. CORRECT He died in the past, he was wonderful in the past.

My dog died, he is a wonderful dog. INCORRECT how can he be wonderful now, if he died in the past?

My dog is dying, he is a wonderful dog. CORRECT He can still be wonderful because he has not yet died.