DESCRIBING GRAPHS 8, 120 WORDS
ONLINE SALES FOR RETAIL SECTORS IN NEW ZEALAND
The pie charts compare the proportion of online sales for sector types in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. In 2003 travels made up 36% of the total, whereas clothes accounted for almost a quarter of all online retail sales. These two main sectors where followed by books and film and music sales, that accounted for 19% and 21% respectively. The situation changed over 10 years and in 2013 film and music sales skyrocketed up to 33%. Although online sales in travels decreased, they were still substantial and accounted for almost 30% of the total online sales. Books sales grew slightly up to 22%, whereas clothes sales dropped to 16% of the total amount of online retail sales.
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Corrections · 4
1
ONLINE SALES FOR RETAIL SECTORS IN NEW ZEALAND
The pie charts compare the proportion of online sales for sector types in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. In 2003 travels made up 36% of the total, whereas clothes accounted for almost a quarter of all online retail sales. These two main sectors where followed by books and film and music sales, that accounted for 19% and 21% respectively. The situation changed over 10 years and in 2013 film and music sales skyrocketed up to 33%. Although online sales in travels decreased, they were still substantial and accounted for almost 30% of the total online sales. Books sales grew slightly up to 22%, whereas clothes sales dropped to 16% of the total amount of online retail sales.
DESCRIBING GRAPHS 8, 120 WORDS
ONLINE SALES FOR THE RETAIL SECTORS IN NEW ZEALAND
The pie charts compare the proportion of online sales by sector types in New Zealand from 2003 to 2013. In 2003 travel accounted for 36% of the total, whereas clothes were nearly 25% of sales (As you began using percentages it is better to stay with the same units). These two main sectors where followed by books, and film and music sales, which accounted for 19 and 21% respectively. (Without the comma it seemed like there were more catagories books and film and music)
The situation changed over 10 years and in 2013 film and music sales increased to 33%. Although online sales in travel decreased, they were still substantial and accounted for almost 30%.(It will be understood that you are refering to on line sales as it is the subject of your sentence) Book sales grew slightly up to 22%, whereas clothes sales dropped to account for 16% of the total.
Micol,
I hope that this is helpful for you, when reading I found it interesting that books, films and music increased in sales, while travel and clothes decreased.
0
DESCRIBING GRAPHS 8, 120 WORDS
ONLINE SALES FOR RETAIL SECTORS IN NEW ZEALAND
The pie charts compare the proportion of online sales for sector types in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. In 2003 travels made up 36% of the total, whereas clothes accounted for almost a quarter of all online retail sales. These two main sectors where were followed by books and film and music sales, (is this “books and film, and music” or “books, and film and music”? Use a comma to make it clear which go together.) that accounted for 19% and 21% respectively. The situation changed over 10 years and in 2013 film and music sales skyrocketed up to 33%. Although online sales in travels decreased, they were still substantial and accounted for almost 30% of the total online sales. Books sales (if the category is “books” it is technically correct to say “books sales”, but it sounds very odd. Most people would omit the s) grew slightly up to 22%, whereas clothes sales dropped to 16% of the total amount of online retail sales.
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