why we shouldn't spent money at zoos
practicing my writing (part 3 ) ^^ I would appreciate your corrections and feedback . Thanks a lot for your time.
Wild animals should not be kept in captivity for many reasons. First, animals are often kept in poor and inhumane conditions inside their cages or small created habitats that deprives the animal from their normal environment. In addition, many suffer poor health from lack of exercise and exhibit frustration and stress through their neurotic behavior because of the lack of sufficient space. Also, some animals will not breed in captivity like the cheetahs, white rhynos and giant pandas, even if they got the resources, deprived them from it it's normal structure will don't let them do it. Those animals that make often do so with a close relative. In conclusion, money spent in the upkeep of zoos would be better spent in protecting habitats that let us enjoy and learn more about the wildlife without making any animal to suffer.
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Corrections · 3
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why we shouldn't spent money at zoos
practicing my writing Writing practice (part 3 ) ^^ I would appreciate your corrections and feedback . Thanks a lot for your time.
Wild animals should not be kept in captivity for many reasons. First, animals are often kept in poor and inhumane conditions inside their cages or small created man made habitats that deprives the animal from their normal environment. In addition, many suffer poor health from lack of exercise and exhibit frustration and stress through their neurotic behavior behaviour , because of the lack of sufficient space. Also, some animals will not breed in captivity, like; the cheetahs, white rhynos and giant pandas, even if they got have the resources. They are deprived them from it it’s their normal structure (and will don't let them do it).Those animals that make? mate often do so with a close relative. In conclusion, money spent in on the upkeep of zoos would be better spent in protecting habitats. That way let us we will enjoy and learn more about the wildlife without making any animal to suffer.
Thank you for writing about this topic!
I think that people should often be reminded about these sorts of topics.
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Hola Angelika, te comento algunas sugerencias:
- cuando elabores un texto puedes introducir distintos puntos de la siguiente forma: firstly, secondly. La primera vez que escribes „first“ debería ser „first of all,“ o „to begin with „
- in conclusion x „to sum up“ or „finally „ mejor
- spend on not in
- hay muchas palabras sacadas de diccionario aparentemente, a mi me parece más normal „enough space“ en lugar de „sufficient...“
- make + bare infinitive (without to)
Estos son algunos errores que saltan a la vista pero hay más...
¡Mucha suerte con tu trabajo en los EE.UU!
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