Could you please help me to check my essay？
I,as a colllege student , am convinced that we youngsters should not only enhance degrees,but develop abilities in variety aspects . otherwise,when we hunt jobs in the future, if we meet unadvisable employer,then we may fall into an embarass situation as the cartoon shows.
Obviously, discriminations on low degree interviewers can be reflected from the employer’s opinion.But I deem that employers should bear in mind that degree is not equal to ability. Several typical examples : First , there is no doubt that professional skills are absoulutely step stones which will enhance worker's working efficiency , ensure more fruity results and enable them go further in workplace. Second, teamwork spirit lays a solid foundation for a successful career.
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Corrections · 2
1
Could you please help me to check my essay？
As a colllege student, I am convinced that we youngsters should not only earn degrees, but also develop abilities in various aspects. Otherwise, when we hunt for jobs in the future, we might fall into an embarassing situation as depicted in the cartoon, if we meet ill-advised employers.
Obviously, discriminations on low degree interviewers can be reflected from the employer’s opinion an employer's opinion may show discrimination for some degrees. But I think that employers should bear in mind that a degree is not equal to ability. Several typical examples : First, There is no doubt that professional skills are absolutely [no need for this extra adverb. It becomes redundant since you've already used "no doubt" at the beginning of the sentence.] stepping stones which will enhance a worker's working [another redundant word] efficiency, ensure more fruitful results, and enable them to go further in workplace. Second Also, teamwork the spirit of teamwork lays a solid foundation for a successful career.
* * * * * * *
Common/idiomatic expressions in English:
- to earn a (college) degree
- not only.... but also
- to hunt for a job
- stepping stones
- enable (someone) to do (something)
[My personal note: I love your point about a (university) degree is not equal to ability! Well said, and a very important topic. Nice essay! You express yourself very well.]
1
Could you please help me to check my essay？
As a colllege student , I am convinced that we youngsters should not only enhance degrees,but develop abilities in various aspects. Otherwise,when we hunt jobs in the future, if we meet unadvisable employer,then we may fall into an embarassing situation as the cartoon shows.
Obviously, discriminations on low degree interviewers can be reflected from the employer’s opinion.But I deem that employers should bear in mind that degree is not equal to ability. Several typical examples : First , there is no doubt that professional skills are absolutely step stones which will enhance worker's working efficiency , ensure more fruity results and enable them go further in workplace. Second, teamwork spirit lays a solid foundation for a successful career.
Good job!
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