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Giselle
My Virtual Friends Lots of people use Instagram as a place to merely see some beautiful or outstanding people. It’s more like a star-chasing place where most people don’t seem quite real. And, if that’s the only thing I can find here, I don’t think I’ll use it one more second! I’m active on IG not because of the aforementioned but because I know my friends are there. And, I know they’re truly care about me and want to grow together with me. I’ll only stop using IG when all these people who mean a lot tome are no longer existent. I don’t care about fans, but I do care a lot about my friends. I’m here because my friends are here, too.

Corrections · 3

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Hi Giselle,

"My Virtual Friends

Lots of people use Instagram as a place to merely see some beautiful or outstanding people. It’s more like a star-chasing place where most people don’t seem quite real. And, if that’s the only thing I can find herethere, I don’t think I’ll use it one more second! I’m active on IG not because of the aforementioned but because I know my friends are there. and, I know they’re not only truly care about me but also and want to grow together with me. I’ll only stop using IG when all these people who mean a lot to me are no longer existent use Instagram. I don’t care about fans, but I do care a lot about my friends. I’m here because my friends are here, too."

I hope you found the suggestions helpful.

Sean :)
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My Virtual Friends

Lots of people use Instagram as a place to merely admire beautiful or outstanding people. It’s more like a star-chasing a pretty curated place where most people don’t seem quite real. And, if that’s the only thing I can find there, I don’t think I’ll use it any longer! I’m active on IG not because of the aforementioned but only because I know my friends are there. And, I know that they’re truly care about me and want to grow together with me in that online space. I’ll only stop using IG when all these people who mean a lot to me are no longer existent. I don’t care about having any fans, but I do care a lot about my friends. I’m there only because my friends are there, too.

(What I myself might write for the first two sentences:
Lots of people use Instagram simply to admire people with good looks as well as people who flaunt their outstanding achievements. It's a really artificial space where people adopt different personas from their real selves.)

Comments:
  • The message conveyed through "I’ll only stop using IG when all these people who mean a lot to me are no longer existent" might sound a bit odd to some native speakers, but it works.

Hope this helps!

P.S I've stopped using social media altogether since a couple of years ago. You should try it someday as well! :)

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