Please correct my essay. The advantages and disadvantages of chosen profession
Choosing a profession is one of the most complicated decision, because your future somehow will depend on this choice. It does take a lot of years and work to master any field and if you do wrong choice, you can end up by wasting so much time. I did my decision and now I am studying finance. There were many factors, which influenced on me when I choose my profession. One of this factor was advantages of becoming a financier.
Every profession has its own unique advantages. When it comes to finance, I can surely say that being financially literate is a crucial skill in our life. Because we live in a world, where money plays an important role and no one can deny it or live without them. Consequently, everyone should know about finance as much as they can. Because if you know about financing more enough, you will manage your money effectively.
As well as advantages, my profession has its disadvantages. The most obvious one is technological progress. It is fact that computers and robots will replace many professional workers. After some years, there will not be any person who works as a financier. If this happen after 5 years, it will be a disaster for many people especially for me. Because I will become unemployed and I will need to study again.
In conclusion, I want to say that all of profession has advantages and disadvantages. I like my profession and I can say that there are much more advantages than disadvantages.
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Corrections · 5
1
Please correct my essay. The advantages and disadvantages of chosen profession
Choosing a profession is one of the most complicated decisions, because your future somehow will depend on this choice. It does take a lot of years and work to master any field and if you make the wrong choice, you can end up wasting so much time. I took / made my decision and now I am studying finance. There were many factors which influenced me when I was choosing my profession, among them, the advantages of becoming a financier.
Every profession has its own unique advantages. When it comes to finance, I can say for sure that being financially literate is a crucial skill in our life. Because we live in a world where money plays an important role and no one can deny that or live without money. Consequently, everyone should know as much as they can about financial matters. Because if you know plenty about financing, you will manage your money effectively.
As well as advantages, my profession has its disadvantages. The most obvious one is technological progress. It is a fact that computers and robots will replace many professional workers. eventually, there will be no human person who works as a financier. If this happens after 5 years, it will be a disaster for many people like me. Because I will become unemployed and I will need to start studying again.
In conclusion, I want to underline that every profession has advantages and disadvantages. I like my profession and I can say that there are many more advantages than disadvantages.
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Please correct my essay. The advantages and disadvantages of chosen profession
Choosing a profession is one of the most complicated decisions, because your future somehow will depend on this choice. It does take a lot of years and work to master any field and if you do make a wrong choice, you can end up by wasting so much time. I did made my decision and now I am studying finance. There were many factors, which influenced on me when I chose my profession. One of these factors was advantages of becoming a financier.
Every profession has its own unique advantages. When it comes to finance, I can surely say that being financially literate is a crucial skill in our lives. Because we live in a world, where money plays an important role and no one can deny it or live without them. Consequently, everyone should know about finance as much as they can. Because if you know about financing more well enough, you will manage your money effectively.
As well as advantages, my profession has its disadvantages. The most obvious one is technological progress. It is a fact that computers and robots will replace many professional workers. After some years, there will not be any person people who works as a financier. If this happens after 5 years, it will be a disaster for many people especially for me. Because I will become unemployed and I will need to study again.
In conclusion, I want to say that all every of profession has advantages and disadvantages. I like my profession and I can say that there are much more advantages than disadvantages.
Very good, but in English it is not good to start sentences with "Because"
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Hello, Alison. I am so happy to hear that my essay is not bad. I think that many professions will be replaced by computers and finance is one of them. But I hope this chage will happen only after many years maybe 20-30.
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Hello, Zhan - I think your essay is basically well written. You’ll find several corrections of small points in my corrected version. I hope it’s helpful for you!
I don’t believe everyone who works in finance will become unemployed and need to retrain, do you? But who know what the future holds!
Good luck with your studies, Alison
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