Second part. 'Brave Mary'
'Brave Mary.' Second part.
(If you want to read the first part use this link. https://www.italki.com/entry/1035309)
In the end, his father said: 'You are an unpleasant girl but I know you want to find fear, so from now on you can go elsewhere in search of changes, but before you leave I want to give you a notebook on it you should write all the adventures you have. When your behavior was good for other people write your adventure from the first page of the notebook to the last, but when your behavior hurts someone you should write it from the last page to the first. You should be out at least up till you have grown up or have found fear.
So Brave Mary started very happy to travel around the world. On her first day, she saw an old lady who was carrying a big sack and Mary decided to help her, in spite of the old woman said to her that the sack was very heavy. After that, she thought the first fact was a good one, and she thought 'I must write down it on the first page. I started very well but I haven't met fear. Even I have passed several nights alone in the middle of the forest. I was cold and hungry but not afraid'.
A few days after that, she met some children fighting a small child. Immediately she was against the big boys screaming and throwing big stones, all the bad kids run away and she encourages the little boy. 'The second one and on the good side too', she thought.
Another day she found a rearing horse, nobody dared to approach him, but she went where the horse was and with sweet words, she calmed him down. Then she was very happy she had already three good acts.
Going here and there, she arrived at a harbor, and believing she is no going to know fear, she decided to go on-board looking for new adventures. Indeed she had a lot, but all of them had to be written on the good side of her notebook.
Everything seems to be good but nothing makes her know fear as she wanted.
To be continued tomorrow.
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Second part. 'Brave Mary'
'Brave Mary.' Second part.
(If you want to read the first part use this link. https://www.italki.com/entry/1035309)
In the end, his her father said,: 'You are an unpleasant girl, but I know you want to find fear. , so f From now on you can go elsewhere in search of changes, but before you leave I want to give you a notebook. on it you should w Write all the adventures you have in it. When your behavior was good for towards other people is good, write your adventure from the first page of the notebook to the last,; but when your behavior hurts someone you should write it from the last page to the first. You should be out at least up till Do not return until you have grown up or have found fear." (Your first sentence was a bit run-on; I broke it into several instead.)
So Brave Mary started left home,very happy to travel around the world. On her first day, she saw an old lady who was carrying a big sack. and Mary decided to help her, in spite of the old woman's warning said to her that the sack was very heavy. After that, she thought the first fact believed that her first act was a good one, and she thought, 'I must write it down it on the first page. I started very well but I haven't met fear. E, even though I have passed several nights alone in the middle of the forest. I was cold and hungry, but not afraid'. (these two ideas, the good deed and the fear, would be better separated into two thoughts)
A few days after that, she met some children (maybe "a gang of children" or "a group of children" instead?) fighting a small child. Immediately she was against attacked the big boys, screaming and throwing big stones, All the bad kids run ran away and she encourages encouraged the little boy. 'The second one act, and on the good side too', she thought.
Another day she found a rearing horse., nNobody dared to approach him, but she went where up to the horse was and, with sweet words, she calmed him down. Then she was very happy; she had already three good acts.
Going here and there, she arrived at a harbor., and b Believing she is no going to would know no fear, she decided to go on board looking for new adventures. Indeed she had a lot, but all of them had to be written on the good side of her notebook.
Everything seemsed to be good but nothing makes made her know fear as she wanted.
To be continued tomorrow. Last comment: in English, the punctuation at the end of a quotation is inside the quotation. Example: "I ate a hot dog." not: "I ate a hot dog".
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