Captain's log day 1
Hi, this is my first notebook input, I'd like to get some feedback :)
The very first thing I did this morning was wake up pretty early and make some breakfast and then I took a look at my flashcards on anki. I feel thrilled to see that I’m almost through to this whole malcolm in the middle episode where Hall secretly takes the boys to a stock car race event so the boys can see Rusty Malcolm’s last race and realize how much they can accomplish with a little persistence and determination, in the meanwhile Loise is at home rooting around for a missing paycheck that randomly leads her to compromising evidence that may be the reason for a long-term punishment.
I also read an article in my English book about the average lifetime of westerner which could apply to all of us since we spend half our lifetime sleeping or in front of the computer. it’s also surprising to see that on average we work 60,000 thousand hours. so that leaves us so little time to spare in hobbies.
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Corrections · 3
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Captain's log day 1
Hi, this is my first notebook input, I'd like to get some feedback :)
The very first thing I did this morning was wake up pretty early and make some breakfast. and Then, I took a look at my flashcards on anki. ("wake up -and- make breakfast -and- then take a look" is too many conjunctions to sound organized and clear. There are multiple ways to make this sound better, including making a second sentence as I did.) I feel am thrilled to see that I’m almost through to this whole Malcolm in the Middle episode where Hall secretly takes the boys to a stock car race event so that the boys can see Rusty Malcolm’s last race and realize how much they can accomplish with a little persistence and determination., in the Meanwhile, Loise is at home rooting around looking for a missing paycheck that randomly leads her to compromising evidence that may be the reason for a long-term punishment (punishment for whom? Might want to make this clearer). (Again, the sentence here felt too long. For example, "[something] and [something else] then [something else] and meanwhile [something else] then [something else]" is less clear than "First, [something]. Then [something else] and [something else]. Meanwhile, [something else], then [something else]". Of course there are multiple ways to organize the text, but I think you would benefit from breaking up sentences into multiple sections.)
I also read an article in my English book about the average lifetime of a Westerner, which could apply to all of us since we spend half of our lifetime either sleeping or in front of the a computer. It’s also surprising to see that on average, we work 60,000 thousand hours over a lifetime, so that which leaves us so little time to spare in for hobbies.
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Note: I'm a native speaker but not a teacher.
Overall very well written and completely comprehensible! In my opinion, break up your longer sentences into multiple parts, either by splitting them into multiple sentences or by using more commas and logical connectors. There are some minor things which I didn't correct as they sound slightly unnatural (as in an English native would likely phrase them differently), but I wouldn't necessarily classify them as mistakes.
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Captain's log day 1
Hi, this is my first notebook input, I'd like to get some feedback :)
The very first thing I did this morning was wake up pretty early and make some breakfast, and then I took a look at my flashcards on Anki. I feel thrilled to see that I’m almost through to this whole Malcolm in the Middle episode where Hall secretly takes the boys to a stock car race event so the boys can see Rusty Malcolm’s last race and realize how much they can accomplish with a little persistence and determination. in the Meanwhile, Loise is at home rooting around for a missing paycheck that randomly leads her to compromising evidence that may be the reason for a long-term punishment.
I also read an article in my English book about the average lifetime of westerners which could apply to all of us since we spend half our lifetime sleeping or in front of the computer.It’s also surprising to see that on average we work 60,000 thousand hours in a life time, so that leaves us so little time to spare in hobbies.
Buen hecho. You have a run on sentence - it starts with "and realize..." The part before is correct - a period should go after the word "race". Other than that, very clear and easily understandable.
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