Could you please evaluate my writing
I was born and raised in a very difficult situation, I am the sixth of my family. my father was lending money to feed us, at that time, we were looking for help from the government where no one was listening, my father was in crossroads wether to leave the host country looking for money or seeking for help from the charity. finally, he decided to travel abroad. Living alone away from your family is something that brings feelings of sadness, away from lovely kids and wife is a big thing which no one could help to overcome.
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I was born and raised in a very difficult living situation. I am the sixth member of my family. My father even borrowed money at times simply to feed us. We were also looking for help from the government, yet, ever came of it since it seemed as if no one was listening. As a result, my father was at a crossroads whether to leave our country to look for work or to continue relying on help from the charity of others. Finally, he decided the best choice was to travel abroad in the hope of finding work. Surely, the prospect of being away from his loving wife and kids was an incredibly difficult thing to deal with, as well as something that no one can help him to overcome. I have little doubt that living alone, away from his family, is something that must cause him feelings of great sadness…*
Hi, Magi Magi. Good job! Whatever changes I made were to allow your sentences to sound more natural to my native ears, to clarify your thoughts, and for ease of reading. Sincerest apologies if I have misinterpreted. I hope that this helps you. J.
*As to your writing, it is at an elementary level. While I was able to understand the meaning of what you were trying to tell me, as the reader, it was not as clear as it could have been, especially the tenses. These are hard for ESL students, who may not have them in their own languages, so take your time, but do learn them. I would suggest doing more reading to expose yourself to more vocabulary, as well as different sentence constructions. In spite of those criticisms, I do feel that you have a good command of the language. Keep writing and keep posting. I wish you and your family the best of luck!
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Could you please evaluate my writing
I was born and raised in a very difficult situation. I am the sixth child in my family. My father has to borrow money to feed us. At that time, we (my parents) looked for help from the government but no one was listening. My father was at a crossroads, and had to decide whether to leave the host country looking for money or seeking for help from the charity. Finally,(at the end,) he decided to travel abroad. Living alone away from your family is something that brings feelings of sadness, and being away from his lovely kids and wife is a big thing which no one could help him to overcome.
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Could you please evaluate my writing
I was born and raised in a very difficult situation, (as/since/because) I am the sixth of my family. My father was (borrowing) money to feed us at that time, while we were looking for help from the government where no one was listening. My father was (at) crossroads on whether to leave the host country looking for money or seeking for help from the charity. Finally, he decided to travel abroad. Living alone away from your family is something that brings feelings of sadness, away from lovely kids and wife is a big thing which no one could help to overcome.
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