Practicing a sport.
Hi, everyone! I hope your language learning is going smoothly. I hope also you have little time to correct this small text :) Thank you in advance.
I thought that I would like playing basketball, but I ended up exhausted, feeling like dying and swearing I would never play it again.
I tried playing different sports: I loved swimming, I detested soccer, I would like to practice boxing, I wouldn't mind practicing fencing.
I admit that being a "little lazy" has brought me some health issues. That's why I decided to find a sport that I can practice, in the best-case scenario, for the rest of my life or until my body can move.
I just have to remember not to eat pizza on weekends and quit the habit of watching Netflix for so many hours if I want to receive all the benefits of practicing a sport.
*This text is fictional, only for language learning purposes.
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Corrections · 6
1
Practicing a Sport
Hi, everyone! I hope your language learning is going smoothly. I also hope you have a little time to correct this small text :) Thank you in advance.
I thought that I would like to play basketball, but I ended up exhausted, feeling as if I was dying, and swearing that I would never play it again. I tried doing different sports: I loved swimming, but I detested soccer. Someday, I would like to learn how to box, and I would like to try fencing as well. I need to admit that being a "bit lazy" has caused me to have some health issues. That is why I decided to find a sport that I can regularly practice, in the best-case scenario, for the rest of my life, or in the interim, at least until I get into better shape. If I want to receive all the benefits of participating in a sport, however, I just have to remember not to eat pizza on the weekends, as well as to quit my habit of watching Netflix for so many hours!*
*This text is fictional, only for language learning purposes.
Hi, Cindy. Good job! Whatever changes I made were to allow your sentences to sound more natural to my native ears, to clarify your ideas, and for ease of reading. Sincerest apologies if I have misinterpreted. I hope that this helps you.
J.
We use a colon mainly for a listing of items, things, etc. In this case, you listed the sports you had tried. However, you then mention sports--boxing and fencing, which seemingly, you have not tried. Thus, they need to be in a new sentence. Also, for titles, we do not use ending punctuation, so there was no need for a period mark.
1
Practicing a sport.
Hi everyone! I hope your language learning is going smoothly. I also hope you have a little bit of time to correct this small text :) Thank you in advance.
I thought that I would like playing basketball, but I ended up exhausted, feeling like dying and swearing I would never play it again.
I tried playing different sports: I loved swimming, I detested soccer, I would like to practice boxing, I wouldn't mind practicing fencing.
I admit that being a "little lazy" has brought me some health issues. That's why I decided to find a sport that I can practice, in the best-case scenario for the rest of my life or, at least, until my body can move.
I just have to remember not to eat pizza on weekends and quit the habit of watching Netflix for so many hours if I want to receive all the benefits of practicing a sport.
*This text is fictional, only for language learning purposes.
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Only minor edits - text is very clear as it is! :)
I moved also before the verb as this is the most common placement in a sentence. However placement after the verb it is not necessarily an error as many native English speakers will also do this; do this also.
you have a little bit of time / some time to spare to an activity e.g. correcting a notebook entry, listen to a speech etc.
Addition of at least (not the best but something still to gain) to contrast with best case scenario (nothing possible more to gain)
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