Can you help me please? It is pretty important for me, thank you.
I am overjoy and excited of traveling to the staggering Tecolutla beach next week with the most beautiful women who are my mother and my charming girlfriend. Upon our arrival to the Tecolutla beach half past five am and we'll see the sundown while we eat typical delicious food made of shrimp, octopus and fish. After, I'll record when my mom enters to the sea for the first time and I´ll take care of her because she cannot swim. She only has taken two swimming classes because she took up this activity since 3 weeks ago. However, I'll be by her side in the sea every moment. One of the most exciting we are going to do participate in the release of the turtles into the sea.
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Corrections · 13
1
~~ means that I'm highlighting the differences in time.
I am overjoy and excited to travel to the staggeringly beautiful* Tecolutla beach ~next week~ with the most beautiful women in my life; my mother and my charming girlfriend. ~Upon our arrival~ to Tecolutla beach at half past five am, I want us to be able to see the sundown while eating the region's delicious food comprised of shrimp, octopus and fish. ~Afterwards~, I'll record my mom going into sea for the first time. I'll take care of her because she cannot swim. She has gone to only two swimming classes since she started just 3 weeks ago. However, I'll be by her side in the sea at every moment. One of the most exciting things we are going to do will be the release of turtles into the sea.
The tenses and sense of time are confusing. At first it seems like you're talking about something that will happen in the future by using the words "next week", but then you use present tense at some points; for example when you say "we see". Most of my changes were turning verbs into the future tenses.
*Staggering by itself means deeply shocking but usually has a negative context unless you follow it with a description of something's beauty. Like her staggeringly beautiful hair.
1
Can you help me please? It is pretty important for me, thank you.
I am overjoyed and excited of traveling to travel to the staggeringly beautiful Tecolutla beach next week with the most beautiful women who are -- my mother and my charming girlfriend (We often just use this word in the singular for a romantic relationship, so if she is romantically involved with you OK, otherwise maybe "best friend" or "girl friend"). Upon our arrival to the Tecolutla beach half past five am (PM?), and we'll see the sundown (if you are arriving at 5 PM you will see the sundown. If you arrive at 5:30 AM you are arriving at dawn!) while we eat typical regional delicious food made of shrimp, octopus and fish. Afterwards, I'll record take a video of when my mom enters to the sea for the first time. and I´ll take care of her because she cannot swim. She only has taken two swimming classes because she took up this activity since just 3 weeks ago. However, I'll be by her side in the sea every moment. One of the most exciting things we are going to do participate in the release of the turtles into the sea.
Beni already fixed most everything that I would fix but I had a couple other suggestions.
This is a great start! Well done!
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