Today.
Today is one of my last days in Johannesburg and I'm eager to go back in my country for a little moment, our food misses me too much.
Earlier in the morning, I made a call to talk with the person with who I would like to engage and she told me that she was very hurry to see me. she told me a short story about a man that she has met and he has very determined to take her out. We had laughed about it and she told me that she loved me. That call makes me a little bit more confident about her and our future.
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Corrections · 5
1
Today.
Today is one of my last days in Johannesburg and I'm eager to go back to in my country for a while, I miss our food so much! little moment, our food misses me too much.Earlier in the morning, I made a call to talk with the person with whom I would like to be engaged and she told me that she was in a very hurry to see me. She told me a short story about a man that she has met and he has been very determined to take her out. We had laughed about it and she told me that she loved me. That call made makes me a little bit more confident about her and our future.
Where have you been staying in Joburg?
1
Today.
Today is one of my last days in Johannesburg. I'm eager to go back to my home country soon. I miss my country's food too much.Earlier this morning, I called the person I would like to marry one day, and she told me that she was in a hurry to see me. She told me a short story about a man that she had met who was very determined to take her out on a date. We laughed about it and she told me that she loved me. That call made me feel a little bit more confident about her and about our future together.
Here are explanations for the first few sentences.
- I replaced the "and" in sentence one with a period because the ideas of having a last day in Johannesburg is different from the idea that you're eager to be home.
- We use go back "to" a place.
- I added "home" in front of country to make it clearer what country you were talking about.
- "In a moment" is usually used for events that will happen within only a few minutes. Soon is better for events that will happen in a few days.
- I replaced "in the" with "this" because it just sounds better.
- "called" instead of "made a call" is enough
- I replaced "to talk with the person with who I would like to engage" with "the person I would like to marry one day" because we don't usually use "with whom" when writing something casual. "I would like to marry" is more active than "I would like to engage", and sounds more natural.
In general, great work, and I'm happy for you and your relationship!
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