Search from various English teachers...
China flagVivian
Terror Jane was in the hallway in the hospital, alone. There seemed no ending to the path, and windows on both sides appeared to be so dark and inactive, like the eyes of a dead man, the way in front leading to a cavernous darkness. With lights flickering on and off, it looked ever so gloomy to Jane. Sweat trickling down her back, Jane began to feel agitated, with her chestnut brown hair stuck to her brow, and her pupil enlarged, her brow knotted in apprehension. Why isn't there anyone here? She wondered. The cold air touched her throat like hands of the dead, leaving goosebumps all over her body. Petrified, she hastned as the sound of her high heels echoing in the hollow hallway, yet it seemed the windows around had not changed at all, all peering at her in such an eerie way that she dare not even cast a sidelong glance on them. Finally she saw the ending, and with a sort of relief, she darted towards it, as if to grasp some rope of hope to lift herself out of this haunting place. She stopped. To her terror, the expected door did not appear, all she was facing was a mossy, cracking wall. She heard a faint thud from behind, which drained all the blood from her face. Someone is near. The sound was approaching. It was so dull and loud that no human can have such footsteps. With every thud, her heart sank deeper, her lips trembling compulsively. Something is near. Gradually, a blurred contour appeared under the flickering lights. It had an odd shape that was larger on the top and thinner down, with two tentacles-like structure waving around. No. This is not suposed to happen to me. Yet it was approchaing with her every quickened inhalation and exhalation. The light flickered out.

Corrections · 9

1

Terror

Jane was in the hallway in the hospital, alone.

There seemed no ending to the path, and the windows on both sides appeared to be so dark and inactive, like the eyes of a dead man, the way in front leading to a cavernous darkness.

With lights flickering on and off, it looked ever so gloomy to Jane.

Sweat trickling down her back, Jane began to feel agitated, with her chestnut brown hair stuck to her brow, and her pupils enlarged, her brow knotted in apprehension. "Why isn't there anyone here?" she wondered. The cold air touched her throat like hands of the dead, leaving goosebumps all over her body.

Petrified, she hastened. As the sound of her high heels echoed in the hollow hallway, yet it seemed the windows around had not changed at all, all peering at her in such an eerie way that she dare not even cast a sidelong glance on them.

Finally she saw the ending, and with a sort of relief, she darted towards it, as if to grasp some rope thread of hope to lift herself out of this haunted place.

She stopped.

To her terror, the expected door did not appear, all she was facing was a mossy, cracking wall.

She heard a faint thud from behind, which drained all the blood from her face.
Someone is near.

The sound was approaching. It was so dull and loud that no human could have such footsteps.

With every thud, her heart sank deeper, her lips trembling compulsively.

Something is near.

Gradually, a blurred contour appeared under the flickering lights. It had an odd shape that was larger on the top and thinner below, with two tentacles-like structures waving around.*

No. This is not supposed to happen to me.

Yet it was approaching with her every quickened inhalation and exhalation.

The light flickered out.


Where are the tentacles? Are they the arms or the legs?

0

Terror

Jane was in the hallway in the hospital, alone.

There seemed no ending to the path, and the windows on both sides appeared to be so dark and inactive, like the eyes of a dead man. The way in front leading to a cavernous darkness.

With lights flickering on and off, it looked ever so gloomy to Jane.

Sweat trickling down her back, Jane began to feel agitated, with her chestnut brown hair stuck to her brow, and her pupils enlarged, her brow knotted in apprehension. Why isn't there anyone here? She wondered. The cold air touched her throat like hands of the dead, leaving goosebumps all over her body.

Petrified, she hastened as the sound of her high heels echoed in the hollow hallway, yet it seemed the windows around had not changed at all, all peering at her in such an eerie way that she dare not even cast a sidelong glance on them.

Finally she saw the ending, and with a sort of relief, she darted towards it, as if to grasp some rope of hope to lift herself out of this haunting place.

She stopped.

To her terror, the expected door did not appear, all she was facing was a mossy, cracking wall.

She heard a faint thud from behind, which drained all the blood from her face.
Someone is near.

The sound was approaching. It was so dull and loud that no human can have such footsteps.

With every thud, her heart sank deeper, her lips trembling nervously.

Something is near.

Gradually, a blurred contour appeared under the flickering lights. It had an odd shape that was larger on the top and thinner at the base/bottom, with two tentacle-like structure waving around.

No. This is not supposed to happen to me.

Yet it was approaching with her every quickened inhalation and exhalation.

The light flickered out.

that is very good. 

you can say haunting or haunted it's your choice to make.

0
Terror Jane was in the hallway in the hospital, alone. There seemed no ending to the path, and windows on both sides appeared to be so dark and inactive, like the eyes of a dead man, the way in front leading to a cavernous darkness. With lights flickering on and off, it looked ever so gloomy to Jane. Sweat trickling down her back, Jane began to feel agitated, with her chestnut brown hair stuck to her brow, and her pupil enlarged, her brow knotted in apprehension. Why isn't there anyone here? She wondered. The cold air touched her throat like hands of the dead, leaving goosebumps all over her body. Petrified, she hastened as the sound of her high heels echoing in the hollow hallway, yet it seemed the windows around had not changed at all, all peering at her in such an eerie way that she dare not even cast a sidelong glance on them. Finally she saw the ending, and with a sort of relief, she darted towards it, as if to grasp some rope of hope to lift herself out of this haunting place. She stopped. To her terror, the expected door did not appear, all she was facing was a mossy, cracking wall. She heard a faint thud from behind, which drained all the blood from her face. Someone is near. The sound was approaching. It was so dull and loud that no human can have such footsteps. With every thud, her heart sank deeper, her lips trembling compulsively. Something is near. Gradually, a blurred contour appeared under the flickering lights. It had an odd shape that was larger on the top and thinner down, with two tentacles-like structure waving around. No. This is not suposed to happen to me. Yet it was approchaing with her every quickened inhalation and exhalation. The light flickered out.
0
Vivian, change your English level on your profile to at least 3. You might even be a 4.
0
I was joking.....

Want to progress faster?

Join this learning community and try out free exercises!

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!

Start Learning Today