A letter of complaint
Dear Mr.Smith,
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with unacceptable living conditions at the dormitory of your national park.
Although I really appreciated the job in your national park, the living conditions were terrible. Firstly, hot water was available only in some cases. Moreover, cold water was not available sometimes.
Secondly, there was no heating and it was really cold in our room. And finally, the size of the room was inedaquate for eight adults. There was not sufficient space for living.
I must urge you to consider finding a solution to this problem as soon as possible.
Yours sincerely,
T.
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A Letter of Complaint
Dear Mr.Smith, Mr. Smith, (Always put a space after a period, a person's title is no exception.)I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the unacceptable living conditions at the dormitory of your national park (consider at your national park's dormitory).
Although I really appreciated the job appreciate having worked in your national park, the living conditions were terrible. Firstly, hot water was available only in some cases sometimes (consider was only sometimes available [putting sometimes before available puts greater emphasis on how limited the hot water's availability was). Moreover, cold water was not available sometimes. At times, even the cold water was not available (or unavailable). (There's no need to put "Moreover" here as you're still talking about the availability of the water.)
Secondly, there was no heating and it was , making it really cold in our room ("and" connects two different statements, but "it was really cold in our room" is a direct consequence of "there was no heating"). And finally, the size of the room was inedaquate inadequate for eight adults. There was not sufficient space for living. This made it very difficult for us to live comfortably. or Our living conditions were not at all comfortable. (In the previous sentence, you already said that the "size of the room was inadequate". Instead of repeating yourself and saying "there was not sufficient space for living," you should focus on the impact on your living conditions.)
I must urge you to (consider that you instead) consider finding find (this sounds more firm) a solution to this problem as soon as possible.
Yours sincerely, (consider Sincerely, to end on a more serious note)
T.
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You did well with the formal language in this letter; it conveys the seriousness of your complaint without making you sound discourteous.
1
A letter of complaint
Dear Mr.Smith,I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the unacceptable living conditions at the dormitory in your national park.
Although I really appreciated the job in your national park, the living conditions were terrible. First, hot water was often unavailable as was, more seriously, the cold water.
Secondly, heating was unavailable and it was really cold in our room. And finally, the size of the room was inedaquate for eight adults. There was insufficient space to scratch one's nose.
I urge you to solve this problem as soon as possible.
Yours sincerely,
T.
very well written!
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