Formal E-mail
Dear Mr Watson,
I am writing to enquire about the wildlife photography course in the Doñana National Park. I love Spain and I like to take photographs, but I am not very good at it.
Besides, I like animals, especially birds, and three years ago I did a course about ornithology. In addition, I would like to meet the Andalusian people, since I know that they are very friendly.
If I had more time, I would visit Spain more often, but I am very busy at work and I have to take care of my children.
I would be grateful if you could tell me how much the course costs and how long it lasts. I would also appreciate it if you could tell me if the flight is included in the price.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,
Peter Ropper
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Corrections · 2
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Formal E-mail
Dear Mr Watson,I am writing to enquire about the wildlife photography course in the Doñana National Park. I love Spain and I like to take photographs, but I am not very good at it.
If I had more time, I would visit Spain more often, but I am very busy at work and I have to take care of my children.
I would be grateful if you could tell me how much the course costs and how long it lasts. I would also appreciate it if you could tell me if the flight is included in the price.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,
Peter Ropper
Fantastic letter Rodrigo! You have used some advanced grammar (2nd conditional, indirect question, linking words). Your vocabulary could be better though!
I have highlighted a few parts which I think you could make more formal / use better vocabulary for.
For example: 'I like animals' => 'I really enjoy learning about animals'.
Let me know if you have any questions! Also, if you're practising for the Cambridge exams, then you should also include the question so that teachers can check if you have answered the question well.
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