Cigarette advertising should be illega
Cigarettes are harmful to the health of smokers and passive smokers. They harm the lungs and they may cause cancer. Let’s start with cigarette advertisements. They can be seen everywhere on buildings, on high ways and even on TV Programmes. Most advertisements show successful, attractive, famous people smoking and this gives a negative message to young people and children to imitate those famous people and start smoking. Furthermore, these advertisements don’t mention the danger of smoking. In addition, young people may easily be influenced by cigarette advertisements. Personally, I think these advertisements should be illegal because they don’t warn or remind people about the harmful effects of smoking.
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Cigarette advertising should be illegal
Cigarettes are harmful to the health of smokers and passive smokers. They harm the lungs and they may cause cancer. Let’s start with cigarette advertisements. They can be seen everywhere: on buildings, on highways and even on TV Programmes. Most advertisements show successful, attractive, famous people smoking and this gives a negative message to young people and children to imitate those famous people and start smoking. Furthermore, these advertisements don’t mention the danger of smoking. In addition, young people may easily be influenced by cigarette advertisements. Personally, I think these advertisements should be illegal because they don’t warn or remind people about the harmful effects of smoking.0
Your English writing skills are very good, but I think you need to work on better transitions between ideas. When you skip from talking about the dangers of smoking and then skip to "Let's start with..", you don't really develop enough ideas to start an argument, and your transition makes that part kind of shaky to read.
Other than transitions, your English was fine.
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