Search from various English teachers...
Chile flagAndrés Landero
TOEFL Independent Essay. I am practicing for this test, so I would appreciate any comment ;-) Why do you think some people are attracted to dangerous sports or other dangerous activities? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. In the world we live today, there are several alternatives in order to practice sports or recreational activities. During last decades, extreme sports have become very popular. I am of the belief that people practice these dangerous activities for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. First of all, dangerous sports and activities provide people extreme sensations that cause pleasure. It has been demonstrated that extreme survival experiences trigger the production of adrenalin, which is the hormone associated with exciting experiences, that could be pleasant for some people. Extreme activities, such as bungee, skiing or skydiving, make people to face dangerous situations. As a result, human brain responds through signals in order to an especific gland generates adrenalin. Some people feel pleasure because of this hormone and they develop a kind of addiction. It has been well documented that when people realize they enjoy these dangerous activities, they tends to continue seeking for more and more extreme experiences. For example, a friend of mine started to practice bungee and then he incorporated more extreme activities such as skydiving. Now, he is looking for new exciting activities all the time. He is always saying that he needs this to feel alive. Secondly, an important amount of people practice these activities because they are in fashion and for sharing these experiences in social media. It is not a secret that a lot of people do some activities just because other people do them or just with the purpose of being more popular in social media. In this regard, extreme activities are very well-considered between young people, therefore, they these sports are popular in social media with the goal of obtaining more “likes” and social approval. My sister is a compelling example of this. She started to practice these dangerous activities just because her friends practice them and in order to increase her popularity in Facebook and Instagram. As a result, she actually raised the number of her followers, in the same way that her friends had done it before. In conclusion, I strongly believe that people practice dangerous activities because they provide extreme and pleasant sensations and because they are in fashion and are well-considered in social media.

Corrections · 5

0

 It is not a secret that a lot of people do some of these activities just because other people do them or just for the purpose of being more popular in social media. In this regard, extreme activities are very well-considered amongst young people, therefore, they these sports are popular (you can say , 'they post videos of themselves doing these popular sports') on social media with the goal of obtaining more “likes” and social approval. My sister is a compelling example of this. She started practicing these dangerous activities just because her friends practiced them as well as in order to increase her popularity on Facebook and Instagram. As a result, she actually raised the number of her followers, in the same way that her friends had done it before.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that people practice dangerous activities because they provide extreme and pleasant sensations and because they are in fashion and are well-considered in social media.


I'm so sorry, something happened with my Internet and the corrections didn't want to submit but here's most of what I've done lol I hope it helps 


Ps: you write really well keep it up!!

0

In the world we live Today, there are several alternatives choices when it comes to in order to practice participating in sports or recreational activities. For example, during the last couple of decades, extreme sports have become very popular. I am of the belief that people practice these dangerous activities for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.


First of all, dangerous sports and activities provide people extreme sensations that cause pleasure. It has been demonstrated that extreme survival experiences trigger the production of adrenalin, which is the hormone associated with feelings of excitement and which that could be results in causes a feelings of pleasure  pleasant for some people. Extreme activities such as bungee jumping, skiing, or skydiving make people to place people in dangerous situations. As a result, the human brain responds by signaling the adrenal gland to produce adrenalinproducing through signals in order to an especific gland generates adrenalin. Some people react to this hormone by feeling pleasure, and they can because of this hormone and they develop a kind of addiction as a result. It has been well documented that when people realize they enjoy these dangerous activities, they tends to continuallye seeking for more and more extreme experiences. For example, a friend of mine started to practice bungee jumping, and then progressed to he incorporated more extreme activities such as skydiving. Now, he is looking for new exciting activities all the time. He is always saying that he needs this to feel alive.

Secondly, an important increasing number amount of people practice these activities because they are in fashion and they provide an opportunity for sharing these experiences onin social media. It is not a secret that a lot of people participate in do some activities just because other people do them, or because just with the purpose of being they wish to become more popular in on social media. In this regard, extreme sports and activities are very well-considered have become status symbols among young people. , therefore, they These sports are popular in on social media because it is a means to with the goal of obtaining more “likes” and social approval. My sister is a compelling example of this. She started to practice these dangerous activities just because her friends practiced them and she wanted to in order increase her popularity in on Facebook and Instagram. As a result, she actually raised the number of her followers, in the same way that her friends had done so it before.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that people practice dangerous activities because they provide extreme and pleasant sensations and because they are in fashion and are well-considered on in social media.

Want to progress faster?

Join this learning community and try out free exercises!

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!

Start Learning Today