i had a hamster - part one i had a hamster. living alone for nearly two years makes me odd, i mean, mentally. because i often weak up or go to bed with emptyness, my room is always cold and i speak to air frequently. one winter night when i hanged around at a mall, walked in the pet store really just to watch puppies and kittens, and then, bought a hamster home after all. the hamster was a white furball with a dark gray line right in the middle of back, nobody knows its gender because it too small, but i guess it was a she.i sat on the back seat on taxi, holding the plastic box with my hamster in it, like i was holding a heart, it was beating and i was nervous and excited. although i don't have any children but i think to take care a pet may share the same feeling. from that moment on, i was responsible for her. the first night we spent together wasn't peaceful, i alway wanted to check her to see did she alive or did she ran away? and she did made big noise to make me check as well. the other day was better, she began to eat and shit.trust me their urines are really smelly, hah. and there's something change about myself: i began to worry. worry if she did well when i was out, worry i would work overtime so that i cannot come back home earlier when she was waiting. and worry i myself would no longer free as before...i wanted to grab her in that days but she was afraid of me. i remembered that one day i fed her with my hand, and guess what, she licked me! oh my god, softest little red tongue and the paws held my finger. it was very touching when you find someone begin to trust you, especially for those timid suspicious little creature. she died in the sixth morning, last time i checked her in 2 am. and when i get up at 8, she had already stiff out side her little cottage. i took her to a pet hospital quite near my house, a nurse told me my hamster was too small to cure and she was already died. i am very guilty, i should have seen the signs - she bearly moved the night before, i thought she just sleep since she was warm and breathing. i have to say, i really took this thing seriously, to have a hamster. i am not the one who choose to have a pet just making fun and careless to them then leave them. i took good care. but the reason of my hamster's death, i found out afterward. she was buried under the second tree near a basketball ground, i visited this spring, i saw there were more flowers growing than nearby ground. she became elements back to the nature.