one time in the subway (short story)
Coming back from the university this evening, I found out my sister and one of her friend sitting on the sofa, sharing some high school’s gossips.
“Don’t you know what I heard from Selma yesterday?
- No, tell me all!
- Linus f*cked another girl at the Saturday’s party.
- You’re serious? Wow.
- How many is it since September?
- Not sure … a lot.
- He’s so good.
- Yeah.
I prepared a cup of coffee, and met up them.
- Hey there. How was your day?
- Cool. Your?
- Great, great.
- Cool.
- I took the subway till the house.
- Ok.
- I’ve seen something.
- What then?
They were listening, so I started to speak:
“I sat next to a pretty guy, who looked around twenty years old. He was listening to music, but he gave me a polite smile.
After a while, a young miss took the place in front of me. She wearied black shoes, a white scarf and a grey jacket. She had red hair, and beautiful green eyes. She picked a cookie from a paper bag, and started to nibble it. At the same time, she gave a softened look on the others passengers. Thoughtful, proud; but head down, nobody catch it. Only the young man next to me had noticed this miss as well, and looked at her furtively. Sound like she appreciated; she answered by some smirks.
Then the phone’s boy rang.
He started a conversation in a language that I didn’t really know. I believe it was French.
The girl stopped puttying, and looked at him delighted. She listened attentively, and began to chat with him in this same language when he rang off. He answered, she continued, he asked her, she laughed; I guess they exchange their name. I didn’t understand what they were talking about, but I could sense emotion in the sounds of their voices. I could see the light in their eyes, and feel the complicity sprouting.
And the magic ended; the boy got off at the next station. The lady gave him a card and two kisses on his cheek, he receded. Following him by the gaze, she took her mobile phone and called someone, this time in English: “Hey sweetie! … Yeah, I gonna be a bit late. You can save me a sit? I’m there soon. Ok, thanks … Fifteen minutes, don’t worry … No, I just have to stop buying condoms.” ”
The room became quieted for a few seconds. My sister broke the silence:
“What a bitch! She exclaimed.
- So true, approved her friend”
And they continued their conversation.
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one time in the subway (short story)
Coming back from the university this evening, I found out my sister and one of her friend sitting on the sofa, sharing some high school’s gossips.“Don’t you know what I heard from Selma yesterday? "Do you know" is a better word choice in this context. I am not sure if "Don't" works or not, but normally people say "Do" here.
- No, tell me all!
- Linus f*cked another girl at the Saturday’s party.
- You’re serious? Wow.
- How many is it since September?
- Not sure … a lot.
- He’s so good.
- Yeah.
I prepared a cup of coffee, and met up them. "Met with them" is a better word choice and more correct, because "with" here indicates that you are doing something with other people. Or you can also just simply write "Met them" as this is also correct!
- Hey there. How was your day?
- Cool. Your? "Yours?"
- Great, great.
- Cool.
- I took the subway till the house. "to"
- Ok.
- I’ve seen something. "I saw something" is also a correct answer in addition to this.
- What then? "What did you see" or just simply "What" is more correct. "Then" is used for sequences of events more often than here.
They were listening, so I started to speak:
“I sat next to a pretty guy, who looked around twenty years old. He was listening to music, but he gave me a polite smile.
After a while, a young miss took the place in front of me. She wearied "wore" black shoes, a white scarf and a grey jacket. She had red hair, and beautiful green eyes. She picked a cookie from a paper bag, and started to nibble it. At the same time, she gave a softened look on the others passengers. Thoughtful, proud; but head down, nobody catch "caught" it. Only the young man next to me had noticed this miss as well, and looked at her furtively. Sound "Sounded" like she appreciated; she answered by some smirks.
Then the phone’s boy "Boy's phone" rang.
He started a conversation in a language that I didn’t really know. I believe it was French.
The girl stopped puttying, and looked at him delighted. She listened attentively, and began to chat with him in this same language when he rang off. He answered, she continued, he asked her, she laughed; I guess they exchange "exchanged" their name. I didn’t understand what they were talking about, but I could sense emotion in the sounds of their voices. I could see the light in their eyes, and feel the complicity sprouting.
And the magic ended; the boy got off at the next station. The lady gave him a card and two kisses on his cheek, he receded. Following him by the gaze, she took her mobile phone and called someone, this time in English: “Hey sweetie! … Yeah, I gonna "am going to/ am gonna" be a bit late. You can save me a sit? I’m there soon. Ok, thanks … Fifteen minutes, don’t worry … No, I just have to stop buying condoms.” ”
The room became quieted for a few seconds. My sister broke the silence:
“What a bitch! She exclaimed.
- So true, approved her friend”
And they continued their conversation.
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