Childhood story
I will always remember the day I learnt that presents weren't always good. I was only six but that bad memory has been with me since then.
We had spent our summer holidays visiting some friends of my parents in Tenerife and I was given a pair of strappy sandals of Snoopy. I couldn't imagine that funny gift was going to turn out to be a poisoned chalice.
My mother took me to school like she used to but that black Monday we arrived late so I didn't have to queue with my classmates. Better for me. That day she had a brilliant idea; taking me wearing those sandals on my first day back at school.
Well, Snoopy was OK. What's more, as long as I can remember, they were very comfortable and handy, too; I was able to go into the sea wearing them!
I used to be a happy 6-year-old child who liked running on the beach wearing his transparent Snoopy strappy sandals, but those days were gone.
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Corrections · 4
1
Childhood story
I will always remember the day I learnt/ed that presents weren't always good. I was only six but that this particular bad memory has been with me since then ever since.We had spent our summer holidays visiting some friends of my parents friends in Tenerife and I was given a pair of strappy sandals of Snoopy sandals (with straps). I couldn't could not have imagined that a funny gift was going to turn out to be a poisoned chalice.
My mother took me to school like she used to but that black Monday we arrived late so I didn't have to queue with my classmates. Better for me All the better. That day she had a brilliant idea: taking to take me in wearing those sandals on my first day back at to school.
Well, Snoopy was OK. What's more, as long as I can remember, they were very comfortable and handy, too: I was able to go into the seaside wearing them!
I used to be a happy 6-year-old child who liked running on along the beach wearing (his) transparent Snoopy strappy sandals, but those days were are long gone.
The level is high. My corrections mostly remove awkward foreign-sounding phrases and replace them with more natural ones.
For the phrase that you use to describe the sandals sounds odd: we do not call sandals 'strappy': rather 'sandals with straps' (if the straps are really that important!).
1
Childhood story
I will always remember the day I learnt that presents aren't weren't always good. I was only six but that bad memory has been with me since then.We had spent our summer holidays visiting some friends of my parents in Tenerife and I was given a pair of strappy, Snoopy sandals of Snoopy. I couldn't imagine that funny gift was going to turn out to be a poisoned chalice.
My mother took me to school like she used to but that black Monday we arrived late so I didn't have to queue with my classmates. Better for me. That day she had a brilliant idea; taking me wearing those sandals on my first day back at school.
Well, Snoopy was OK. What's more, as long as I can remember, they were very comfortable and handy, too; I was able to go into the sea wearing them!
I used to be a happy 6-year-old child who liked running on the beach wearing his transparent, Snoopy strappy Snoopy sandals, but those days were gone.
- I made the first correction from "weren't always good" because it suggests that this is a problem of the past, whereas "aren't always good" suggests that this problem still exists the present.
- The second correction "sandals of Snoopy" was a literal translation from Spanish (como: sandalias de Snoopy)
- The third correction was because the adjective 'strappy' needs to come before the object.
Hi Aytami. Besides these few mistakes, that read really well. Great work! Let me know if you want more clarification on those corrections :)
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