Enjoy The Work

从你的中文而改, 有很多的地方, 英文與中文的表示太差异了

After being a busy bee for a while, or "after being busy for awhile" I put the cakes into the oven.They will be bake in The baking will take an hour [before the cake is done]. [With a chair] I like to move a chair and sit down in front of the oven. I enjoy the like this feeling. On one hand, that I can have a rest my weary body and watch on the other, got to see the cakes rise fluffily and get got tall and fat - the result of my handiwork.  in the the oven , it is a process of my work's growing up.




忙碌了一阵，蛋糕被送进了烤箱。蛋糕烤好需要一个小时，我喜欢搬把椅子坐在烤箱的前面，我喜欢这种感觉，一方面能让疲惫的身体休息一下，一方面看着蛋糕在烤箱里长高变胖——那是我的作品成长的过程。

关於你的问題... 首先把你的中文版直接翻译一下

忙碌了一阵，Busy for awhile 蛋糕被送进了烤箱。The cake was put into the oven.  蛋糕烤好需要一个小时，The cake needs an hour.  我喜欢搬把椅子坐在烤箱的前面，I like to put a chair in front of the oven and sit there.  我喜欢这种感觉，I like this feeling. 一方面能让疲惫的身体休息一下，On one side, let my weary/tired body rest for awhile. 一方面看着蛋糕在烤箱里长高变胖 On one side, [英文应要用, on the other hand/side] to look at the cake in the oven grow and become fat ——那是我的作品成长的过程。That's my creation in progress.

如果这样写法, 語法沒錯而非常能懂, 在短信里和朋友交談可以承受, 但不能在作文和大塲面写說. 这是文化的偏用或表示.就像我这里的中文一样, 最重要的是你明白我的意思而不是看我的語句写得多么好.

上面的第一句, 英文的蛋糕的意思是指已经做好了, 所以英文读者一看就一头雾水, 為什么好好的蛋糕再放進烤箱里.  因此要写成, After busying myself for a while, the unbaked cake was put into the oven.  "in" 和 "into" 有不一样的涵意, "in" = 裡面, 中, 內.  "into" 有"放進" 的涵意. The cat was in the box. 貓兒是在箱裡面.  The cat was put into the box = 貓兒被放進箱裡.  可是不能说 The cat was into the box.  这儿的 "into" 的意思是 "喜欢".  如果你說为什么英文这样複杂, 中文也是这样, 譬如, "長, 重, 好", 現在連简单字攪得这么複杂, 例如 "松", "里", "发", "只" 等等字形

下一句, 英文这样写太囉嗦了, 最好和第一句連合起来

After busying myself for awhile, the unbaked cake was put into the oven and it takes an hour to bake.

雖然好些, 語法沒錯但仍然不妥, 最好这样表示,

I was busy for awhile before it was put into the oven. It takes an hour to bake the cake.

如果要精彩些, 就加一个 "finally"

I was busy for awhile before it was finally put into the oven. It takes an hour to bake the cake.

(忙碌了一阵, 終於蛋糕被放進烤箱里, 要一个小时而成) 可是沒有你的中文写得这样瀟洒.

"长高变胖" = rise and puff up, 不可用 "grow tall and become fat".  文化偏用.  小作 不可用 "small essay" 而是 "short essay".  "短作" 不自然.

結語 那句也是一样的道理, 不可用 " it is a process of my work's growing up".  

That's my creation in progress. 輕鬆而朗朗上口

the result of my handiwork, 一針见血.

中英文化有别, 要写好, 定要密切了解語言的文化.  一个方式是多看不同题目的文章, 多写不同的作文而被改, 这样才能学到.

最后, 你的作文标题最好是 "Keeping Myself Busy" 或 "Enjoying My Work".   "Enjoy My Work" 像个命令.