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Can you corect my poem? Catch your hope that's hidden in your heart At last, you will find it in your voice, hark Running to dreams will be your hope Let the dreams make you cheer up Open your eyes to light, look at the beauty Seeing the sun will make you happy

Corrections · 4

1

Can you corect my poem?

Catch the hope that's hidden in your heart
At last, you will find it in your voice, hark
Escaping into dreams will be your hope
Let the dreams cheer you up
Open your eyes to light, look at the beauty
Seeing the sun will make you happy

 

Hi!  Your English is very good.  I can't imagine writing a poem in another language!!!  It is not easy to correct a poem, which may be why no one has tackled it yet. I made a few suggestions highlighted in yellow above -- hopefully I captured the meaning you had in mind. 

 

0

Can you corect my poem?

---

Catch your hope that's hidden in your heart
At last, you will find it in your voice, hark
Running to dreams will be your hope
Let the dreams make you cheer up
Open your eyes to light, look at the beauty
Seeing the sun will make you happy

---

Catch the hope that's buried in your heart,

And at last find it in your voice. Hark, 

Your hope, running through dreams shall be, 

Let them bring a spark for all to see.

Open your eyes to the light. Witness the beauty.

Seeing the sun will set you free.

---

I've tried my best to keep to your original piece as well as possible, while also adding a bit more of a poetic flare. Here are explanations as to why I've changed a few words:

Buried: This gives the idea that the hope is hidden away, but in such a way that it can't be easily reached

Your hope, running through dreams shall be: By mixing the word order, the line becomes more lyrical.

Spark: This gives a brighter, more intense image than the verb 'cheer up'

  

0

Pouvez-vous corect mon poème?

Attrapez votre espoir qui est caché dans votre cœur
Enfin, vous trouverez dans votre voix, hark
Courir pour des rêves sera votre espoir
Que les rêves vous remontent le moral
Ouvrez vos yeux à la lumière, regardez la beauté
Voyez le soleil fera de vous un heureux


Hello, i made a correction on your poeme bet i don't know exatly what you want to say. For me, excuse me, but my engleish is not perfect. I think my correction that good for your. bye!

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